Out(back Steak)House

This one makes me laugh! Intrepid Agent AshW, is staying in NC for the summer (with Agent HoJo), and snapped this one in a local Outback Steakhouse. It's a sign pointing toward the restrooms, of course...

Melt Your Heart Out

Here is a lovely one from Agent Ash W in Colorado. She sent us this pic of a sign next to the mirror in the ladies' room of the Melting Pot in Littleton, CO. How did she know I love fondue? Now, I wonder what it said in the guys' room - "Offer her (or him) the last strawberry"?

Use the Tube

Our awesome Eco-Agent IGA has come up with another fair use for toilet roll tubes after you've used up those last scraps of paper that stick on with the glue so that you have to pick it off in that annoying way. In her own words:

Reuse tip x2! Use old toilet paper cores to save gift ribbon to use again. Simply tape one end of the ribbon to the paper core, wrap around and tape the end to the ribbon.

Et Voilà! As an added bonus, not only does it keep your extra ribbon bits from getting tangled in the bottom of a drawer somewhere, AND keep TB tubes out of recycle bins/landfills - it looks pretty!

Thanks, Agent IGA! {Photo credit: I.G.}

Addendum: There are some toilet paper tubes that don't like having ribbon wrapped around them, and they make faces like this.

Update: Our agent wants to be called "Iggy," so we'll call her "IGGS" for short. :)

Mission: Restroom

The TP Blog is a little "back-logged" right now with some awesome posts and submissions that have been coming in that we just haven't posted because of time and life and this and that. But Agent M sent in a link today to "the best task force ever." Check it out: the San Francisco Recreation and Parks department has a Restroom Task Force.

Or at least they did. It looks like they were getting a lot of "business" done in 2009. There's so much information on the page, it's hard to know where to start! Hm...Do I go with "Draft Restroom Taskforce Report Appendix A" from June 12, 2009, "Restroom List," or the "Restroom Design Feedback page?" So many choices! Personally, I'm kind of interested in the "Restroom Cost Comparison by Capital."

But this is serious business! I mean, someone's got to make sure that our public restrooms are working and cost effective and structurally sound.

However, I like to think that the "taskforce" was doing their survey of public toilets in black suits and ties, with earpieces and hidden cameras. Perhaps parachuting down from helicopters, armed with plungers. Now *that* would be an awesome taskforce.

TP for Yoo

Some people really don't like John Yoo. I don't like Yoo either. (heheheh) But seriously. If you walk around Berkeley, you will see "Arrest John Yoo" signs stapled to telephone poles. (They could have said "Yoo should be arrested," but they didn't.) And one man made a very special protest, which, in view of toilet paper and the amount of energy he put into it, is practically a compliment.

I guess some people believe Mr. Yoo has trampled on the United States Constitution with his legal practices and rendered them something of a waste product. So one artist from LA decided to have our country's founding documents printed on rolls of toilet paper and deposited them in the bathrooms of the UC Berkeley's legal building, Boalt Hall. He then took the rolls of toilet paper that he removed and left them in a pile in the Dean's office (where Yoo works).

So it was sort of like a one-two punch (in the nether regions). Or it was supposed to be. But to have someone go to that much trouble and expense on your behalf seriously is almost like a compliment. In fact, at first when I watched the video, I thought it was propaganda *for* John Yoo. Not so much. Though I don't think he printed Yoo's face on the TP.

But you can watch the video and see for yourself:

Tiny Toilets

Today, Agent HoJo has helped us to discover Apartment Therapy's list of the Best Small Toilets of 2010. Complete with sexy-haired women in stiletto heels, this listing showcases some of the newest, bestest toilet technologies that will let you get a loo into a tiny space and/or utilize a tiny amount of water for the flush. And really, who can't go for that, on this eve of the 40th anniversary of Earth Day?

Some of these designs are quite lovely as well (even without the model!). Personally, I like the two Caroma models at the bottom of the list. That second one is especially cool-looking. The first one, too, though I think what I really like about it is the shiny purple tiling on the back wall, with matching toilet roll cover.


Images via Apartment Therapy

CSI: San Francisco Bathroom

I had occasion recently to visit the bathroom at CSI: San Francisco (otherwise known as Congregation Sherith Israel). The synagogue's building was built in 1904, just before the big SF earthquake of '06. And it survived (whew!). In addition to a beautiful painted dome upstairs, with an organ and some lovely stained-glass work, they also have this nifty ladies' restroom on the ground floor.

As you can see, there is a whole powder room before you even get to the bathroom part of it. Above, you can see the make-up/touch-up area, with a big mirror, curlicue chairs, and bottles of lotion.


There is also a huge couch, a chair, full-length mirror, and fresh orchids. Not too shabby. The major bonus of this set-up, though, is the fact that, when the line gets long, you just wait in here, instead of standing around in the hallway.


In the next room, which is not as big, there are sinks, a stained-glass window, and a baby changing station, cleverly located near the heating unit, which is a good thing, because these big old buildings are hard to keep warm.

In the third section, there are toilet stalls. And the architects somehow managed to cram a significant amount of them into a fairly small space. So even though it's a little cramped, there's enough for everybody. And the doors are even on automatic springed hinges, so they stay open when they're not locked - no guessing or checking under the door to see if someone is in the stall.


I think the details in the whole bathroom are just lovely, like these charming and oh-so-unnecessary embroidered cases for the tissue boxes. Kind of makes you want to blow your nose and wipe that little tear forming at the corner of your eye because it's just so beautiful.

They also have a very nice "modern" bathroom in the building annex next door, but you know, I think this one just has so much charm. It reportedly has had its attention, back in the day. And, as I hear it, the men's loo is not nearly so special. In fact, given that, I think this one makes up for those tricked out men's rooms from the America's Best Restroom competition. No pool tables or shoe-shine stations here. I think the building designers knew where the priorities were when it came to restroom facilities. And I'm all about the powder rooms, so this is going down as one of *my* favorites.

Check it out if you're ever in the area!

Detective Toilet Cam

I love Law & Order. Specifically, I like Law & Order SVU. It's not sketchy, I swear! Oh, and I write a blog about toilets - #$%@&! Crap. Well, whatever. It's not sketchy. But those two things are both, admittedly, potentially sketchy. And what do you get when you combine two potentially sketchy things that I like to do? *Magic*

Witness Exhibit A - Law & Order SVU: Year Five, Episode 25 (last episode). They really went out with a "bang" that year. I haven't even watched very far past the intro, and I had to stop and write this. So there won't be any spoilers. Unless you want to be surprised by the intro, in which case, STOP READING!!

The show begins with - and this is where the TP part comes in - a perp who installs a mini-cam into a public toilet. I know, I know, gross. Even I think it's gross. I am not here to commend the installation of waterproof cameras in public places where the sun don't shine. It's just not OK.

What I do commend, however, is the wanton use deadpan toilet puns in the script. For instance, the squad Captain calls the installer of the camera the "potty perp." And the intro, which often ends with a clever one-liner, did not disappoint. Since the high-tech gadget was a wireless transmitter, set up to stream the illicit video directly to someone's computer, Detective Stabler (Chris Meloni), observed that they would be looking for the "guy who downloaded the most crap."

Ah, writers of L&O SVU, I <3 you.

UPDATE: Of course, as you might expect, the entire episode becomes more sordid after that (if you can imagine). The potty-cam turns out to be just the entrée to the "real crime," and after about 10 minutes, we don't see that guy again. But it all starts with technology getting into the wrong place, as it were. So, not to inspire paranoia or anything, but if you do happen to be in a public bathroom and you see a miniature camera pointing at you, maybe try and find a different stall. Or at least be decent and cover the thing up.

That's our public service announcement for the day.

Thanks for listening!

Sweet Dreams

Last night was a first. Not the first time that I've dreamed of toilets and bathrooms, but the first time I dreamed about *blogging* about toilets and bathrooms. So I'm going to write about it.

As I remember, in the dream, I found myself waiting in line multiple times in a ladies' room. Once it was at a wedding reception, and once at - I don't know what it was, I forget. Somewhere where there were a lot of people. Anyway, in both cases, I was waiting for inordinately long periods of time while groups of four or five girls would hang out and talk and put on makeup and check email on their phones all in one stall, while I was waiting there having to pee. I could see all this because there wasn't really a door on the stall, just kind of a curtain thingy. Plus, it was really just obvious.

So, for one of these (the wedding reception, I believe), I went in and told them what was up. I said that they had to actually pee, or clear out. And so they did. It was great. Badass bathroom confrontation.

And after that (in my dream), I thought to myself, "I really have to blog about this," i.e. the women in the stalls using their phones and whatnot. So here I am. I'm blogging about it. Except that it didn't happen in a real restroom that I can remember. But it might...

Modern Vomitorium

Here is the latest toilet post from the FAIL Blog, via Agent B, which stands for "Barfolomew" today.

As a urinal, this contraption is clearly FAIL. Either you'd have to have exceedingly long legs and a rather short torso, or you'd have to be a midget given to action spy adventure activity and prefer to take a whiz while grabbing onto handle bars with your feet half-way up the wall. Somehow I just don't see those two things requiring an entirely separate and otherwise useless device in a public restroom.

However, if this is indeed not a urinal but the modern equivalent of a vomitorium, then it is not an epic FAIL but an epic SUCCESS! Because it requires not that you get your face near some nasty toilet bowl, nor do you have to spew chunks down the sink, where it stops up the drain, and that is just nasty.

But what I'm wondering is, where would a bathroom have to be to require such a device, dedicated solely to the issuing of material from the front end, not the back end? A bar? A sports arena? A hospital? An office building? This place looks like a hotel. And even though I see handles on the wall, I don't see anything with which to hold back your hair. But I guess that's what friends are for...