Extra Fluffee

Via I Has a Hotdog. Need I say moar?

Heaven & Hell

On a more serious note, it is easy to take our toiletry for granted. It is easy to be amused by a funny sign in the restroom, because the restroom is going to be there, isn't it? But you know, try camping for a few days, and you'll get a lot more excited about indoor plumbing.

Heck, just last weekend, I went out river rafting and was glad to see a toilet when I returned - and that was just for a day! They even had permanent latrines at the landing site, but, well, you know, being in nature, I wanted to "connect with nature." But I digress...

It is interesting to me how many times I hear toilets, bathrooms, and their various accoutrements compared to "Heaven," while their lack, or malfunction can be compared to "Hell." A faulty plumbing system? Definitely Heck. A handheld bidet sprayer? Heaven, according to this guy.

But there really are people in the world (quite a lot of them) who do not have access to sanitation facilities, and this is actually quite a public health issue. It's the reason the World Toilet Organization exists. Might sounds like a funny name, but it's really not, when you think about it. You know how bad it is when you just "gotta go" and you can't find a restroom? What if that was your life? All day, every day. It would be quite different.

Agent HoJo also recently sent us this Blog Post about the toilet sanitation crisis in Mumbai. "Toilet Heaven" is a street corner with multiple double-decker toilet facilities. "Toilet Hell" is, well, just about everywhere else, apparently.

The fact that even our poorer citizens in the US can practically take toilets bathrooms and toilet paper all for granted shows just how wealthy a country we really are, even if we complain about lack of government services and economic downturn, etc., etc. I think possibly to much of the rest of the world, we look like a bunch of whining babies. Of course, we do have citizens who live on the street, who don't have access to adequate hygiene facilities. Living near San Francisco, I see it all the time. It's a pretty sad phenomenon.

So the next time you go to use a toilet, before you complain about the bad lighting or bunched up hand towels, or a lack of seat covers, take a moment to just be grateful. Be grateful that you *have* a toilet that is at least relatively comfortable. And think about someone who a is a little less fortunate.

{Photo courtesy the Polis Blog}

Cheap Chic Wedding TP

Well, it is the end of the summer wedding season, heading into the fall wedding season, with a nod to all those out there who have just become engaged. Of course, in this economy, everyone is looking to save a little cash. And if you are getting married, probably all the more so. What cheaper way to get a wedding dress than by making one out of toilet paper? Every year, since about 2005, Cheap Chic Weddings has held a toilet paper wedding dress contest. The winner takes home $1,000 for their efforts, although, from the looks of it, I'm sure a larger sum than that should be in order to adequately compensate their efforts.

Here is the winning dress from this year's contest:



Pretty impressive! (Photo credit: Cheap-chic-weddings.com)

To see the runners up and get a look at the winners from previous years, go to the contest page.

Interactive Toilet Training

While Agent Dave and I were exploring Sausalito, we came across an Art Gallery that manages the estate of Dr. Seuss. While I drooled over the cast-resin wall mounting of the Semi-Normal Green-Lidded Fawn and a tiny bronze statue of the Lorax, one of the Gallery agents calmly informed us that we couldn't take pictures due to copyright restrictions. But if your child likes Dr. Seuss, they might also like this Interactive Toilet:



I'm not sure that it looks *exactly* Seussical. Maybe a print of the Lorax and some tufts of hair on the back would improve the look. But it's still a nifty idea for an $18 project by a student for an Architectural Robotics class.

According to the YouTube video, they are not planning to market it. And it might even seem a little bit scary. But, judging by this website, some kids can use all the encouragement they can get to use the Potty. Maybe a little hi-five is not so bad.



It might also help the kids when they go to Japan, as they will be ready for the use of washlets and hands-free dryers.

TP on film

The TP Blog had a moment of stardom last week in San Francisco. Walking up to the Embarcadero with Agent AshW, we noticed a scene of what appeared to be quite a lot of destruction. I was thinking: it's not even a weekend, why is there a street fair?

As we walked along, we noticed carts full of folding chairs on the other side of the police tape, and a film crew with big lights and fans alongside approximately 50 ambulances and a helicopter with no blades.

A crowd was gathering, and a sign in complicated legalese stated that all onlookers were allowing themselves to be filmed on camera as "extras." This was also announced several times by various people with megaphones. Nobody moved. I wondered how many people in the crowd were camera-shy at dinner parties, but perfectly willing to go on film if it meant being seen on national TV.

Turns out this was the filming of a new TV series for NBC about Paramedics, called "Trauma." I guess their pilot episode involved a staged tanker explosion on the Bay Bridge. Exciting!

This, we were told, was season one, episode two.

So Ash and I stood in the crowd as they gave us ad-hoc acting advice ("Remember, you're watching something serious. Don't laugh and smile."), and told the fake actor police officers to keep the crowd in line ("Don't lean on the police tape, that's a prop - stop smiling!").

I remember there was a fairly tall guy in front of us with greasy curls of hair protruding from his baseball cap. When he turned his head, I noticed he had unusually long nostrils. I couldn't figure out exactly what it was about him that seemed so shifty. But at one point, I looked down, and realized that he was holding a slightly squashed, individually shrink-wrapped roll of toilet paper behind his back.

Most of the time, he kept the TP under his blue windbreaker, but occasionally it would peek out, and I would wonder, what exactly is he carrying that around for? Possibly he went on an emergency TP run, and happened to stop to watch all the action. Heaven knows you wouldn't want be caught on camera, watching a medical emergency, with a roll of emergency toilet paper in your hand! But for some reason, despite his height, he seemed determined to stand at the front of the crowd, and therefore was compelled to hold the offending roll awkwardly behind his back, rather than just stand behind everyone else, where he could have put the toilet paper anywhere he very well pleased. Sigh. Oh well. People are strange.

When AW and I saw the toilet paper, we exchanged glances. Then she took a few photos of the set before the "police officers" and crew told us to stop snapping pictures.

Ah, a day in the life of a movie star extra! Welcome to our national television debut. And now, when you see the second episode of Trauma, season one, you'll know what that guy in the blue jacket is holding awkwardly behind his back...Sorry. You got busted!

{Photo: Agent AshW}

TP America!

Our friend Michelle {Agent M} has sent us this patriotic post, just in time for the 4th of July - well, okay, July anyway. Same month!

Anyway, it's a very interesting history of toilet paper, compliments of CNN and Mental_Floss Magazine.

In short, it is the story of how what was once an embarrassing personal product that people were afraid to buy becoming not only a household staple, but a global indicator of cultural development. And a useful way for kids to decorate trees during Halloween. We've come a long way, baby?

Moon Paper

When I first saw the opening page of this book on my friend's facebook page, with the subcaption, "Your inner grammar nazi may faint after reading this," I thought it was just a hilarious example of bad writing that made its way past a publisher.

But oh, it was so much more...

As I traveled to the Amazon page to find out what sort of publisher would print such a collection of words (Xlibris - beware!), I found some very amusing information. Perhaps more hilarious than the actual text of the book itself were the user "reviews." Out of 67 reviews, 53 people gave it a 5-star rating. Five people gave it 4 stars, and only 7 gave it one star.

One of those one-star reviewers pointed out that the first page of the book made it to Digg due to its hilariously painful use of grammar (or lack thereof). Many 5-star reviewers claim it is god-like or messianic in it's eschewing of traditional grammar principles.

So I know what you're thinking: What does this have to do with toilet paper? Read on. As I read through the reviews, which were just as bad as the writing in the book, I found this gem from a "J. Salmeron":

Reading this book made me realize two things:
1. There is a God.
2. The Author is his prophet.

Since I know how those 2 statements may sound a little incredible, let me ellaborate.
While feeding the homeless, I found that among the things they were going to use as toilet paper was this book. Since the cover attracted me, I decided that I should just remove the excrement stains and read it. That was probably my best excrement-related decission to date.
The homeless gathered around me as I told them the tales of the moon people, and as I showed them the incredibly detailed and realistic cover picture. Even the grumpy and erratic one (that we all call "cracky") joined in.
That day the homeless and I started a new religion ("The Moon's People Temple"), and we're planning to go to Guyana and start a new promised land ("Moonstown").
We shall prevail!

Aww. It almost makes me choke up. It's so beautiful!

(Note that the cylindrical spaceship resembles a toilet paper tube...)

Image courtesy of Amazon.com

Prison Break

Agent L-L-7 has come through for us again! This time, the toilet paper roll takes a different art form - the art of escape.

One crafty convict at the Howard County Jail in Missouri reportedly used a piece of folded cardboard from his toilet paper roll to jam the door lock of his cell door, then fled while the patrol guard went the other way.

Okay, so he was caught. Still, he should get extra points for creativity. And this guy really doesn't like prisons. He escaped from a previous jail in 1996 by climbing through a hole in the roof.

Once again, the toilet paper tube proves to be much more than meets the eye.

Problem Solved

Do you ever wish that you would turn on the TV, and suddenly someone would be handing you a magic wand to solve all your toilet paper hygeine problems? Well these people have got your back(side) covered. Comfortable wiping at your fingertips - or not, rather.

Clearly, it has been a problem for people the world over to have to put up with nasty old toilet paper for more than a century. Because before the advent of toilet paper, it was much easier, right? We had chamber pots we could empty right out the window! Outhouses! Magazines! One older woman I know told me that apparently the last year's phone book came in quite handy.

But the days of relying on manual dexterity are over! And also, I'm sorry to tell you, but your arms are too short. Which is why you need to add 18 inches to your reach. If you ask me, that just makes things more awkward. And I'm not sure that scrunching the paper into a device is going to make the whole process more sanitary. Especially when they note that "scrunching" and "folding" toilet paper are outdated, archaic practices.

Seth Stevenson over at Slate had some words to say about the product, and it's ad, as did Joshua McGuire of Examiner.com.

And the one issue they haven't solved for me: where do you put that handy tool when you're not using it? I'd like to know...



Thank you to Karen {Agent K} in Boston, for submitting!

Update

This just in! Apparently Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were recently involved in a Twitter debate about the "right" way to hang toilet paper. This sparked a big debate across the Twitter world about same, as well as many comments on the banal lives of celebrities.

Demi clearly comes down on the top-rolling stance, saying: "There is a "right way" to install toilet paper. Rolling off the bottom is NOT it." This is quoted very often, and not just by me.

My guess is, she would have her vote on the Great American Toilet Paper debate. I did not make this up. But you can get your own voting kit for 5 bucks! Support the cause of toilet paper!

~~~

P.S. I got a weird, voyeuristic feeling, combined with the sense of getting too much information and at the same time getting none at all by scrolling through Mrs. Kutcher's posts. She used an old photo of herself from some rather young age with big 70's glasses. I guess to be anonymous. Ashton Kutcher was surprisingly not clueless and actually somewhat interesting to read. Who would have known?

Over or Under

So, I guess I am an "over" person. I didn't realize this to full effect until this year, though, when I was living with a person who habitually loaded the roll of toilet paper so that it fed out from the bottom. I can't tell you how much it irked my sensibilities. Okay, not that much. But it still prompted me to unload and then re-load the paper in the "over" position every time. I just felt better.

And I think about this when I go into public restrooms, too. There is nothing worse than having a full roll of toilet paper, fully visible through some plastic container, but having to dig around inside to find the end of it, shredding little bits of it in the process. No, actually, what's worse than that is getting in, and realizing only too late that there is no toilet paper. We've all had that experience. But in some ways its worse to have toilet paper you can't access.

And so with my toilet paper at home. I don't want to have to wonder where the end of my toilet paper is. If I can't see it, it's a problem. Plus, as I was explaining to someone recently, to me it just makes sense to have it coming out the top. The use of gravity makes the whole thing easier to deal with. Not that it matters, but really, the amount of time I save in the long run will probably add up to hours by the end of my life. That's hours that I didn't spend fishing for the end of my toilet paper. Time well saved, in my book.

So anyway, you probably have your own personal habits and customs when it comes to toilet paper.

I like the way this guy wrote about it here, and he also goes on to tell the history of toilet paper. Interesting stuff!