Sign Me Up!

This week's post was submitted by Agent KGB in Boston. It's a post from Interbent that features "Humorous and Unclear Toilet Signs and Directions." Like the one above. The list reminds me of this one I saw in a bathroom in San Francisco early last spring.

There are also some Dada-ist looking signs, some highly suggestive, some alien-friendly, some, apparently, just for fun, and I really like the generic guy-on-toilet-seat-with-laptop - in a red circle with a slash mark through it, of course. And don't forget the Extreme Pizza bathroom for the "Extreme costumer only." So I'm guessing they only allow people who make or wear costumes in there...

Moon Paper

When I first saw the opening page of this book on my friend's facebook page, with the subcaption, "Your inner grammar nazi may faint after reading this," I thought it was just a hilarious example of bad writing that made its way past a publisher.

But oh, it was so much more...

As I traveled to the Amazon page to find out what sort of publisher would print such a collection of words (Xlibris - beware!), I found some very amusing information. Perhaps more hilarious than the actual text of the book itself were the user "reviews." Out of 67 reviews, 53 people gave it a 5-star rating. Five people gave it 4 stars, and only 7 gave it one star.

One of those one-star reviewers pointed out that the first page of the book made it to Digg due to its hilariously painful use of grammar (or lack thereof). Many 5-star reviewers claim it is god-like or messianic in it's eschewing of traditional grammar principles.

So I know what you're thinking: What does this have to do with toilet paper? Read on. As I read through the reviews, which were just as bad as the writing in the book, I found this gem from a "J. Salmeron":

Reading this book made me realize two things:
1. There is a God.
2. The Author is his prophet.

Since I know how those 2 statements may sound a little incredible, let me ellaborate.
While feeding the homeless, I found that among the things they were going to use as toilet paper was this book. Since the cover attracted me, I decided that I should just remove the excrement stains and read it. That was probably my best excrement-related decission to date.
The homeless gathered around me as I told them the tales of the moon people, and as I showed them the incredibly detailed and realistic cover picture. Even the grumpy and erratic one (that we all call "cracky") joined in.
That day the homeless and I started a new religion ("The Moon's People Temple"), and we're planning to go to Guyana and start a new promised land ("Moonstown").
We shall prevail!

Aww. It almost makes me choke up. It's so beautiful!

(Note that the cylindrical spaceship resembles a toilet paper tube...)

Image courtesy of Amazon.com