Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Stand up for yourself!

Speaking of leaving the seat up, who says it's guys who get to have all the stand-up fun anyway? Girls, maybe it's time for us to learn a new trick. I heard of a girl once who was so proficient, she could accurately aim and put out a campfire with her stream. Can't say I ever witnessed it, but I believe it can happen.

Trouble is, some women are more or less able to do this without assistance, depending on your individual anatomy. Shucks. If you'd like to give it a try, a little tutorial can be found here.

And then there are a variety of gadgets out there to aid in the venture if you are in some sort of situation where sitting down or squatting would be less desirable, say, in a really nasty portapotty, or camping, or both. They are all essentially the same thing - a little funnel designed to shoot the wee away from you and into the desired location, i.e. not on your pants or leg. The P-Mate describes itself as a little "shoe" with the toe cut off. And it does look rather like a shoe. Reportedly, it was invented by a Dutch woman. Go figure. That, and the "Whizzy" are disposable items you can carry with you.

Then there are the washable varieties, such as the Go-Girl (nice mini!), and the "Whiz Freedom." (StyleList has an entertaining video of the latter.) There is even an acronym for these: FUD (Feminine Urination Device). Bet that ruined your breakfast.

Speaking of breakfast, I can't really imagine putting one of those things in my dishwasher, whether along with my dishes or not. Even if it does get clean every time. I just don't think I could look at my food the same way.

There are also urinals designed for women.

Overall, I can't say that I have an actual desire to pee standing up. I've gotten this far without it, and I haven't found it to be too much of a problem. But that's not to say I couldn't try, just for kicks. And I do like Go-Girl's catch phrase; "Don't take life sitting down." Go girls.

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