The Toilet Paper

Need I translate?

2011-02-24T23:16:00.000-08:00

{Via FAILblog, and Agent AP}

Molotch Cocktail

2011-02-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

Whoa! Check it out: another toilet blog! It's the companion blog to the book Toilet: Public Restrooms and the Politics of Sharing, as reviewed in the Atlantic Monthly, with a pretty spiffy slideshow.

This looks like a book the TP Blog can really get behind. It is a collection of essays by various types of scholars (historians, cultural analysts, etc.) and edited by NYU sociologist Harvey Molotch and doctoral student Laura Norén. There are 12 articles, discussing architecture, gender segregation, class, disability and "the gross factor" (i.e. issues of disgust and cleanliness). Plus that whole public versus private thing.

There are some pretty great images in the slide show. This is one of my favorites:

Such a pretty urinal! Except I wonder if it's weird to take a piss in such a beautiful flower. Or maybe you guys like that kind of thing.

See the rest of the slide show here.

{Photo: Clark Sorenson, via Atlantic Monthly and Toilet (the book)}

Thanks to Agent NH for scouting this one out!

Om nom nom nom

2011-02-09T12:33:00.000-08:00

Aww....it's just really, really cute! I love the Shiba Inus.

{via I has a Hotdog]

Hippies Use Side Door

2011-01-10T21:51:00.001-08:00

Some dear relatives of mine have recently moved into the area for a temporary stay, and are renting a place in a local college hippie town. The apartment isn't too unusual, but it is certainly rented to people of all sorts who stay for short periods, including, to be sure, a lot of students. The first time I visited, I did not even enter the bathroom. But when I did finally go in, I found it was a mine of interesting tidbits...

For starters, they have what I will call a "flow-through" bathroom. You remember from Lipton tea, right? That was probably even before my time, but I distinctly remember singing some sort of silly song as a kid, and my mom explaining to me the concept of the "flow-through" teabag (in order to increase brewing effectiveness, etc.) But what I mean is that there is a door on one side, and a door on the other side, so that if you happen to be on one side or the other, you can just go into the bathroom without having to walk all the way around your house to get there. Or you can go in and simply "flow through" to the other side. On the downside, you have to close and/or lock two doors, and then remember to unlock or otherwise open the other door before you leave. But still, I can see the advantages. The cat likes it, apparently.

Here is a view where you can see through one doorway into the other.

Also, another slightly odd thing about the bathroom is the way the toilet is placed, seemingly right in the middle of the floor plan. Looking at it, it's hard to see where else you would put the toilet, but for some reason it is not flush (haha) against the wall, but rather freestanding a couple inches out for reasons unbeknownst to moi. And the freestanding TP holder probably doesn't help.

Next up: The shower. If you look closely, you can see that there are two sets of knobs. One for bath faucet. One for shower. My "Aunt" (let's call her) says that this is one of the most annoying things about it, to her...

I wondered if the bathroom had always been a bathroom, or perhaps had been another type of room at some point (say, a really small bedroom?). Probably not, given the "flow-through" nature of the door arrangement. But I was noticing the way the bath and shower element seemed to be built out into the space. And I also kind of liked the archway-type detail above the shower curtain. (This was the first time my "Uncle" had ever noticed that.)

Next to the sink, they had a microfiber hand towel, which was so soft, you just wanted to keep touching it. And I kid you not, your hands would be dry in seconds, but the towel didn't seem to get wet at all. My Auntie loves it, and I must confess that I am a fan!

Finally, the bathroom chamber came equipped with this lovely sign right above the toilet. It's a pretty legit sign, actually. You could put a sign like this in almost any bathroom anywhere. But I think it's significant of the town that they are living in, which, as I mentioned, is a hippie college town. Which means it's full of people who like to save water by not flushing the toilet at all unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for saving water. And I also, on occasion, will elect not to flush, if it doesn't seem like there's much going on. But there are degrees to this approach, and I think some people take it to the extreme.

Case in point: I once interviewed at a political magazine (based in this same town), and when I used the bathroom there, I discovered an ongoing discussion taking place on a piece of paper taped inside the bathroom stall, debating the merits and detractor qualities of flushing versus non-flushing, including which type of pee was permissible to not-flush, etc. (For example "stinky pee" = flush, while non-stinky = okay to leave. But then you have to decide which is which. You get the point). So that's where this was happening. Which is why I laughed when I saw the sign. Because I knew why it was there and that, yes, some people do need to be instructed to flush the toilet every time. Because a clogged toilet, as I'm sure you know, is not a laughing matter.

A Pretty Penny...

2010-12-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

In honor of Holiday Travel, this post is dedicated to that supremely annoying, no-frills Euro airline, Ryanair. Because if all goes according to their plan, soon one of the "frills" they won't have is a toilet on the airplane that you don't have to pay for. That's right. Ryanair is hoping to charge £1 or 1 Euro for passengers to use the washroom. That's because they want to knock out the two restrooms in the back to make room for either more seats or for "standing room only" areas on commuter flights.

If they even happen, these changes would not take place until 2012 at the earliest, according to a Guardian article this past July. First, of course, the company has to pass some pretty high safety standards - but that's all having to do with the standing room issue. No one seems to be investigating the "safety" of having but one on-board restroom for an entire plane full of people with nowhere else to go (so to speak), and on top of that, charging for them to use it.

According to Ryanair, the goal is to discourage passengers from using the toilet at all. They are expecting people to use the restrooms at the airport before and after, and therefore not on the plane itself. I suppose that, flying around Europe, that is almost a reasonable request. Your flights aren't going to be more than a couple of hours long. But I can tell you that, as a person with not the hugest bladder in the world, using the loo right before I get on the plane does not guarantee that I won't have to an hour or even a half hour later. Sorry guys! Which leads me to believe that the people inventing this crazy system are all men, with enormous bladders, who believe that women who can't "hold it" are somehow weak or incapacitated. Yeah, and some of those women might even be pregnant. Great. So now you want to charge us for having a slightly different organic set-up than you, and then tell us it's our fault. No thanks, Ryanair!

But it's not only women who object to this policy. Ben Dickson of the Random Perspective has written a clever article on the topic. And there's an entire Facebook page devoted to "Links on 'Don't pay to use a Ryanair toilet - piss in their seats for free.'"

My advice? Don't take Ryanair. At the end of the day, they're not any cheaper than most other airlines - sometimes more expensive. And my experience is that they are just generally obnoxious and a pain in the neck. If you want cheap, pleasant travel from here to there in Europe, fly Easyjet. At least they haven't forgotten that, while people do enjoy saving money, they also don't like to be treated like cattle. Cattle that can somehow hold their bladders indefinitely at will.

{Photo courtesy the Daily Mail}

Extra Fluffee

2010-12-23T20:58:00.000-08:00

Via I Has a Hotdog. Need I say moar?

Aeroport Toilets Genovese

2010-12-12T16:51:00.000-08:00

Our brand-spanking-new Agent MMR has done some excellent reconnaissance work (unawares at the time) in the Geneva International Airport, when he was there in August of 2009. He was so impressed with the urinals in the men's room that he took a photo. "Unlike the toilet sequence from Trainspotting ('The worst toilets in Scotland'), these were clean, sanitized low flow urinals at Aeroport Internacional de Geneve," he writes.

I really like how there is one placed at a lower height. I guess for the kids and/or shorter individuals. But I'm wondering what are the horizontal bars on the tiles above each unit? Are they flush bars? Or do they somehow serve the function of getting you to stand closer, thereby improving your "aim"? Somewhat like the fly painted in the inside of the urinal, perhaps? That's pure conjecture on my part...

"Note that it was actually at the Amsterdam aeroport where the sanitary seat cover was a mechanized sleeve that spun around the toilet seat itself, relieving you of the somewhat tedious task of placing one over the lid yourself while [dancing anxiously] and then forgetting to knock out the center."

Now, unfortunately, there is no picture of the mechanized arms for seat covers, but that's something we'd really like to see!

{Photo: Agent MMR}

All Thai'd Up

2010-12-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

Here's a little post from Agent NH:

"I wish I had taken a picture, because I saw a completely illogical bathroom the other evening. It was at Osha Thai on 2nd Street in SF, if you want to check it out. The women's restroom, when you enter it, looks like a one-person restroom, with a toilet, sink, etc. But then, tucked back around the corner, is a stall with another toilet in it. How does this ever work? I'm really curious about what design process led to that solution!"

We, too, are very curious. Maybe there used to be another stall? Maybe they had extra space, and thought, why not add another toilet in the washing-hands area? And is it even possible to lock the outside door? Or maybe it's just handy when you and a friend adjourn to the powder room together. One day perhaps we will go and check it out, and then we'll be able to offer you some first-hand pics. Or maybe our Architectural Agent NH will do us a nice little diagram ;)

{Top photo from Yelp, below, from the Osha Thai Website}

World Toilet Day!

2010-11-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

So, in case you missed it, World Toilet Day was last Friday, November, 19th. BUT you still have time to make a video about poo for this contest, run by Water for People. Well, they say make a video about poo. But it's really a video about toilets. All the stuff the TP blog is really about: toilet failure, toilet success and toilet innovation!

The World Toilet Organization (www.worldtoilet.org) has more info on World Toilet Day here. (Not to be confused with International Toilet Paper Day, which is August 26).

Meanwhile, get out your cameras/recording device of choice. The deadline for your poo-filled , toilet-happy video is December 2, 2010.

And if you are looking for mugs to hold your coffee, various containers for other liquids, or a tote for all that solid food you're going to eat, all to help you keep going back to the toilet again and again, you can shop the Water for People store here. Oh, and they have pens, too. So I guess you can keep a record of it.

Thanks to Agent BP for alerting us to this contest!

{Image via WaterforPeople.org}

PSA of the Day

2010-11-05T12:09:00.000-07:00

We already love the Oatmeal, purveyor of clever, quirky comickery. We also love actual Oatmeal, but that's a different story. We love it that much more when the big O decides to tackle public toilets! Namely, those annoying, flimsy seat-cover things that give you the illusion of a sanitary toilet-going experience.

Of course, why should we say it when Matthew Inman says it so well?

I will say this. When I moved across the country the to San Francisco area, I noticed those seat covers in public bathrooms a lot more. They must have them in Boston, I just don't remember them being a common fixture. Or maybe I just didn't grow up using them. I cringe to think of the nastiness I must have encountered unawares as a small child. But now I realize there are many more options, besides the awkward hover, which tends to not be conducive to actually relieving oneself. A clean toilet seat is always appreciated. Or, like the saying my friend's parents had on the wall in their bathroom, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat, and wipe the seat."

I think a portable cloth seat cover with non-slip coating on the bottom would be quite useful. You could fold it up, put it in a carrying case, and take it home and wash it. At least you'd know it was only your bum that touched it! By the way, if you're reading this, and you think that's a good idea, consider this idea copyrighted. (Which means if you go and produce it, then I will expect some of the profits! There it is, in writing, just like my lawyer says.)

Or, if you like the Oatmeal's idea, you could always just bring your own spray cleaner to the bathroom with you, if you feel that strongly about it. Well, enjoy!

And you can thank us later...

{Thanks to new Agent AP for bringing this to our attention, and all credit for the images to The Oatmeal!}

House of TP

2010-11-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Halloween is just over - joyous celebration of fear, candy, costumes, and the time-honored tradition of TP-ing your neighbor's house. Just stepping out the front door to find your trees, shrubs and lawn all covered with TP? Start planning now to get back at your neighbors and/or their kids with this (very detailed) Wiki How-To from Wired magazine. They cover everything from planning and preparation to throwing technique, to the perfect finish. And, oh yeah, legal issues. So get ready. Get your TP game face on...

Go forth and conquer!

{Link thanks to Agent Double-L 7 (who didn't know she was scouting for us), and the photo courtesy of Wired mag.}

A Food Expert on Toilets

2010-10-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

I was listening to NPR one day this year when a rerun of this episode of "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell me" came on, featuring Michael Pollan answering several questions about Japanese toilets.

Michael Pollan is, well, Michael Pollan. He lives in the Bay Area, and he tells an embarrassing story in this clip about getting caught buying some Fruity Pebbles for his son in the Berkeley Bowl. If you don't know Berkeley Bowl, it's about the crunchiest grocery store you can imagine in the crunchiest town you can imagine. And Michael Pollan, writer of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" and "The Botany of Desire" defends local, organic food consumption - you get the idea.

You have to listen to the end of the clip to hear the part about the toilets, but it's well worth the listen. In the process, they discuss Twinkies and Ring Dings, etc. And they actually say, in the course of the interview, that the scriptwriters of "Wait, Wait" discussed what kind of topic they were going to address, trying to figure out a subject Mr. Pollan wouldn't know much about. Since he deals mostly with food, they went with - well, the opposite end of the process.

But Pollan does say, at the end of the interview, that they gave him a good idea for a sequel. So we look forward to sharing with you Pollan's discourse on "what comes out the other end."

A full transcript, with audio, is available here.

Yard Duty

2010-10-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

see more dog and puppy pictures

Sink it to me, Baby

2010-09-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

Leave it to a Japanese designer to come up with a sink/urinal combo apparatus that atually looks attractive. AND it saves space. We already have a toilet+sink combo for the average tiny-sized bathroom. Now we have something for space-challenged public men's rooms, so they hopefully don't end up with something like this.

Here's how it works:

Relieve yourself in the lower portion, then, without even having to walk across the room, wash your hands in the upper bit, and the water from hand-washing clears away the remaining liquid waste. Pretty good, right? It's logical AND ecological.

Only thing I'm wondering about is, why the glass-bottomed sink? Is there really a need to see through to what you're doing? Don't most guys look around and try to at least act distracted while they're at the urinal, for fear of accidentally looking where they shouldn't, while they do their best not to talk to anyone? Guys, you can help me out here. My urinal etiquette is pretty limited. On the other hand, you might have the issue of "aim," so from that angle, it could be useful. Or else the designer, Mr. Yeongwoo Kim, just thought it looked good in glass.

Now if you really like glass bathrooms, you should check out some of these designs.

{Thanks to Agent B for this week's topic. Images courtesy of Geekologie}

Another Kind of Doo-Rag

2010-08-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

Agent Iguana shared with us this discussion of "Pee Rags" from Ask Umbra of The Grist. It is certainly a worthy cause: reducing waste.

But the TP Blog is going to admit that it takes us one big mental leap to get over the idea of using cloth nappies to clean ourselves, saving them in a bucket, then washing them and using them over again. Maybe it's not so much the gross factor of keeping bits of your own waste in a container, then putting them in the washing machine, where you presumably wash the rest of your clothes, and reusing them - though that is certainly there. Maybe it's just that it's more reminiscent of what you do with baby cloth nappies (ok, diapers, if you don't like the Britspeak). It seems a bit like "adult diapers" to us. Granted, diapers that you don't actually wear. But reusable, cloth-based, "pee-rags" no less.

But about that "ick factor," I remember on one occasion, I visited a friend's home, and we spent some time with her parents. Something was apparently wrong with their plumbing system at the time, and her father had decided that not even toilet paper could go down the toilet. So he'd set up a bucket, just like Umbra says, in which to place the used toilet paper. I found the idea pretty much heinous and refused to participate. I also decided to "hold it." Call me squeamish, but, well, when I'm not in the woods, I prefer not to leave my "issues" out in the open. It feels a little overly personal to me.

On a practical level, it seems hard to think of all the trees you are saving when you are trying to figure out a way to cover of the smell of what you're using.

However, this article does have a useful analysis of tree-salvage vs. water usage, which is helpful, at least in getting a grasp of just how much energy your toilet paper does use. Not only in trees, but in energy production, as well.

So, knowing that, I think I might try to use less toilet paper. But I am not yet a convert to the pee-rag solution. Thanks, Iggy!

{Photo courtesy of the Grist}

When you really gotta "glow"

2010-07-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

Agent Dave has found us this glowing treasure from GadgetShop.com, based in the UK. All right, so it's too far to get a truckload of glowing toilet paper delivered to your doorstep in one of their lorries - but if you live in England, you can!

Gadget No. 1016: It looks like normal loo roll, it feels like normal loo roll and it can be flushed away like normal loo roll, but this neat invention contains phosphors which give off a soft green glow when exposed to light.

Hm, sounds shady to me...er, glowy? I really cannot vouch for the safety of this product. I, personally, feel a bit uncomfortable about shoving a wad of glowing tissue paper "where the sun don't shine" because I figure it doesn't shine there for a reason. So I think I'd prefer to keep it that way.

However, you could always use your glowing TP roll to shed some light on your sudoku puzzle:

{Photos courtesy of GadgetShop}

Lockdown

2010-07-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

These 3 photos come from a list of 15 unusual ways to solve problems. I'm not even sure what all of these problems ARE. Some of them just look like people doing random stuff with implements and ladders, and oh yeah, duct tape. That one of the patch of duct tape on the flap of the airplane wing would be a little disheartening to see. I imagine that a passenger shot that while on an actual flight. Now we KNOW that the economic crisis is getting serious when airlines need to use duct tape to fix their wings! But I digress. Let me see if I can figure out what all these issues were...Okay:

1) Aliens landed at this campsite in the middle of the desert and stole the knob off this faucet for "research purposes." Then some unsuspecting camper got fed up with no water, decided to use their house key to solve the problem, and thought they were super clever about it, until they got home and realized they had no house key.

2) Got no toilet paper holder? Tired of pesky people stealing your TP roll? Just get yourself a couple of eye-screws and a bike lock. BAM! Problem solved!

3) How stupid are those useless gel wrist pads? I mean, they're all squishy and great, but they *still* put your wrist at a pretty bad angle for mouse work. Heck, I usually hold my wrist ABOVE the wrist pad to get comfortable. But look at what this guy does! What great ergonomic posture! He is SO not getting carpal tunnel syndrome. And the bonus? If someone broke the bike lock on the TP in the rest room, he is totally prepared!

Heaven & Hell

2010-07-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

On a more serious note, it is easy to take our toiletry for granted. It is easy to be amused by a funny sign in the restroom, because the restroom is going to be there, isn't it? But you know, try camping for a few days, and you'll get a lot more excited about indoor plumbing.

Heck, just last weekend, I went out river rafting and was glad to see a toilet when I returned - and that was just for a day! They even had permanent latrines at the landing site, but, well, you know, being in nature, I wanted to "connect with nature." But I digress...

It is interesting to me how many times I hear toilets, bathrooms, and their various accoutrements compared to "Heaven," while their lack, or malfunction can be compared to "Hell." A faulty plumbing system? Definitely Heck. A handheld bidet sprayer? Heaven, according to this guy.

But there really are people in the world (quite a lot of them) who do not have access to sanitation facilities, and this is actually quite a public health issue. It's the reason the World Toilet Organization exists. Might sounds like a funny name, but it's really not, when you think about it. You know how bad it is when you just "gotta go" and you can't find a restroom? What if that was your life? All day, every day. It would be quite different.

Agent HoJo also recently sent us this Blog Post about the toilet sanitation crisis in Mumbai. "Toilet Heaven" is a street corner with multiple double-decker toilet facilities. "Toilet Hell" is, well, just about everywhere else, apparently.

The fact that even our poorer citizens in the US can practically take toilets bathrooms and toilet paper all for granted shows just how wealthy a country we really are, even if we complain about lack of government services and economic downturn, etc., etc. I think possibly to much of the rest of the world, we look like a bunch of whining babies. Of course, we do have citizens who live on the street, who don't have access to adequate hygiene facilities. Living near San Francisco, I see it all the time. It's a pretty sad phenomenon.

So the next time you go to use a toilet, before you complain about the bad lighting or bunched up hand towels, or a lack of seat covers, take a moment to just be grateful. Be grateful that you *have* a toilet that is at least relatively comfortable. And think about someone who a is a little less fortunate.

{Photo courtesy the Polis Blog}

Out(back Steak)House

2010-07-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

This one makes me laugh! Intrepid Agent AshW, is staying in NC for the summer (with Agent HoJo), and snapped this one in a local Outback Steakhouse. It's a sign pointing toward the restrooms, of course...

Melt Your Heart Out

2010-07-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

Here is a lovely one from Agent Ash W in Colorado. She sent us this pic of a sign next to the mirror in the ladies' room of the Melting Pot in Littleton, CO. How did she know I love fondue? Now, I wonder what it said in the guys' room - "Offer her (or him) the last strawberry"?

Use the Tube

2010-06-10T10:10:00.001-07:00

Our awesome Eco-Agent IGA has come up with another fair use for toilet roll tubes after you've used up those last scraps of paper that stick on with the glue so that you have to pick it off in that annoying way. In her own words:

Reuse tip x2! Use old toilet paper cores to save gift ribbon to use again. Simply tape one end of the ribbon to the paper core, wrap around and tape the end to the ribbon.

Et Voilà! As an added bonus, not only does it keep your extra ribbon bits from getting tangled in the bottom of a drawer somewhere, AND keep TB tubes out of recycle bins/landfills - it looks pretty!

Thanks, Agent IGA! {Photo credit: I.G.}

Addendum: There are some toilet paper tubes that don't like having ribbon wrapped around them, and they make faces like this.

Update: Our agent wants to be called "Iggy," so we'll call her "IGGS" for short. :)

Mission: Restroom

2010-06-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

The TP Blog is a little "back-logged" right now with some awesome posts and submissions that have been coming in that we just haven't posted because of time and life and this and that. But Agent M sent in a link today to "the best task force ever." Check it out: the San Francisco Recreation and Parks department has a Restroom Task Force.

Or at least they did. It looks like they were getting a lot of "business" done in 2009. There's so much information on the page, it's hard to know where to start! Hm...Do I go with "Draft Restroom Taskforce Report Appendix A" from June 12, 2009, "Restroom List," or the "Restroom Design Feedback page?" So many choices! Personally, I'm kind of interested in the "Restroom Cost Comparison by Capital."

But this is serious business! I mean, someone's got to make sure that our public restrooms are working and cost effective and structurally sound.

However, I like to think that the "taskforce" was doing their survey of public toilets in black suits and ties, with earpieces and hidden cameras. Perhaps parachuting down from helicopters, armed with plungers. Now *that* would be an awesome taskforce.

TP for Yoo

2010-05-14T07:48:00.000-07:00

Some people really don't like John Yoo. I don't like Yoo either. (heheheh) But seriously. If you walk around Berkeley, you will see "Arrest John Yoo" signs stapled to telephone poles. (They could have said "Yoo should be arrested," but they didn't.) And one man made a very special protest, which, in view of toilet paper and the amount of energy he put into it, is practically a compliment.

I guess some people believe Mr. Yoo has trampled on the United States Constitution with his legal practices and rendered them something of a waste product. So one artist from LA decided to have our country's founding documents printed on rolls of toilet paper and deposited them in the bathrooms of the UC Berkeley's legal building, Boalt Hall. He then took the rolls of toilet paper that he removed and left them in a pile in the Dean's office (where Yoo works).

So it was sort of like a one-two punch (in the nether regions). Or it was supposed to be. But to have someone go to that much trouble and expense on your behalf seriously is almost like a compliment. In fact, at first when I watched the video, I thought it was propaganda *for* John Yoo. Not so much. Though I don't think he printed Yoo's face on the TP.

But you can watch the video and see for yourself:

Tiny Toilets

2010-04-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

Today, Agent HoJo has helped us to discover Apartment Therapy's list of the Best Small Toilets of 2010. Complete with sexy-haired women in stiletto heels, this listing showcases some of the newest, bestest toilet technologies that will let you get a loo into a tiny space and/or utilize a tiny amount of water for the flush. And really, who can't go for that, on this eve of the 40th anniversary of Earth Day?

Some of these designs are quite lovely as well (even without the model!). Personally, I like the two Caroma models at the bottom of the list. That second one is especially cool-looking. The first one, too, though I think what I really like about it is the shiny purple tiling on the back wall, with matching toilet roll cover.

Images via Apartment Therapy

CSI: San Francisco Bathroom

2010-03-12T12:42:00.001-08:00

I had occasion recently to visit the bathroom at CSI: San Francisco (otherwise known as Congregation Sherith Israel). The synagogue's building was built in 1904, just before the big SF earthquake of '06. And it survived (whew!). In addition to a beautiful painted dome upstairs, with an organ and some lovely stained-glass work, they also have this nifty ladies' restroom on the ground floor.

As you can see, there is a whole powder room before you even get to the bathroom part of it. Above, you can see the make-up/touch-up area, with a big mirror, curlicue chairs, and bottles of lotion.

There is also a huge couch, a chair, full-length mirror, and fresh orchids. Not too shabby. The major bonus of this set-up, though, is the fact that, when the line gets long, you just wait in here, instead of standing around in the hallway.

In the next room, which is not as big, there are sinks, a stained-glass window, and a baby changing station, cleverly located near the heating unit, which is a good thing, because these big old buildings are hard to keep warm.

In the third section, there are toilet stalls. And the architects somehow managed to cram a significant amount of them into a fairly small space. So even though it's a little cramped, there's enough for everybody. And the doors are even on automatic springed hinges, so they stay open when they're not locked - no guessing or checking under the door to see if someone is in the stall.

I think the details in the whole bathroom are just lovely, like these charming and oh-so-unnecessary embroidered cases for the tissue boxes. Kind of makes you want to blow your nose and wipe that little tear forming at the corner of your eye because it's just so beautiful.

They also have a very nice "modern" bathroom in the building annex next door, but you know, I think this one just has so much charm. It reportedly has had its attention, back in the day. And, as I hear it, the men's loo is not nearly so special. In fact, given that, I think this one makes up for those tricked out men's rooms from the America's Best Restroom competition. No pool tables or shoe-shine stations here. I think the building designers knew where the priorities were when it came to restroom facilities. And I'm all about the powder rooms, so this is going down as one of *my* favorites.

Check it out if you're ever in the area!

Detective Toilet Cam

2010-03-03T11:37:00.000-08:00

I love Law & Order. Specifically, I like Law & Order SVU. It's not sketchy, I swear! Oh, and I write a blog about toilets - #$%@&! Crap. Well, whatever. It's not sketchy. But those two things are both, admittedly, potentially sketchy. And what do you get when you combine two potentially sketchy things that I like to do? *Magic*

Witness Exhibit A - Law & Order SVU: Year Five, Episode 25 (last episode). They really went out with a "bang" that year. I haven't even watched very far past the intro, and I had to stop and write this. So there won't be any spoilers. Unless you want to be surprised by the intro, in which case, STOP READING!!

The show begins with - and this is where the TP part comes in - a perp who installs a mini-cam into a public toilet. I know, I know, gross. Even I think it's gross. I am not here to commend the installation of waterproof cameras in public places where the sun don't shine. It's just not OK.

What I do commend, however, is the wanton use deadpan toilet puns in the script. For instance, the squad Captain calls the installer of the camera the "potty perp." And the intro, which often ends with a clever one-liner, did not disappoint. Since the high-tech gadget was a wireless transmitter, set up to stream the illicit video directly to someone's computer, Detective Stabler (Chris Meloni), observed that they would be looking for the "guy who downloaded the most crap."

Ah, writers of L&O SVU, I <3 you.

UPDATE: Of course, as you might expect, the entire episode becomes more sordid after that (if you can imagine). The potty-cam turns out to be just the entrée to the "real crime," and after about 10 minutes, we don't see that guy again. But it all starts with technology getting into the wrong place, as it were. So, not to inspire paranoia or anything, but if you do happen to be in a public bathroom and you see a miniature camera pointing at you, maybe try and find a different stall. Or at least be decent and cover the thing up.

That's our public service announcement for the day.

Thanks for listening!

Sweet Dreams

2010-02-18T11:08:00.000-08:00

Last night was a first. Not the first time that I've dreamed of toilets and bathrooms, but the first time I dreamed about *blogging* about toilets and bathrooms. So I'm going to write about it.

As I remember, in the dream, I found myself waiting in line multiple times in a ladies' room. Once it was at a wedding reception, and once at - I don't know what it was, I forget. Somewhere where there were a lot of people. Anyway, in both cases, I was waiting for inordinately long periods of time while groups of four or five girls would hang out and talk and put on makeup and check email on their phones all in one stall, while I was waiting there having to pee. I could see all this because there wasn't really a door on the stall, just kind of a curtain thingy. Plus, it was really just obvious.

So, for one of these (the wedding reception, I believe), I went in and told them what was up. I said that they had to actually pee, or clear out. And so they did. It was great. Badass bathroom confrontation.

And after that (in my dream), I thought to myself, "I really have to blog about this," i.e. the women in the stalls using their phones and whatnot. So here I am. I'm blogging about it. Except that it didn't happen in a real restroom that I can remember. But it might...

Modern Vomitorium

2010-02-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

Here is the latest toilet post from the FAIL Blog, via Agent B, which stands for "Barfolomew" today.

As a urinal, this contraption is clearly FAIL. Either you'd have to have exceedingly long legs and a rather short torso, or you'd have to be a midget given to action spy adventure activity and prefer to take a whiz while grabbing onto handle bars with your feet half-way up the wall. Somehow I just don't see those two things requiring an entirely separate and otherwise useless device in a public restroom.

However, if this is indeed not a urinal but the modern equivalent of a vomitorium, then it is not an epic FAIL but an epic SUCCESS! Because it requires not that you get your face near some nasty toilet bowl, nor do you have to spew chunks down the sink, where it stops up the drain, and that is just nasty.

But what I'm wondering is, where would a bathroom have to be to require such a device, dedicated solely to the issuing of material from the front end, not the back end? A bar? A sports arena? A hospital? An office building? This place looks like a hotel. And even though I see handles on the wall, I don't see anything with which to hold back your hair. But I guess that's what friends are for...

Best Restroom

2010-01-21T17:40:00.000-08:00

A while ago, at a birthday picnic in the park, someone {Agent A} shared with me that there was such a thing as "the country's best restroom." Turns out this is a contest held every year sponsored by Cintas facilities services. The description of why they created the awards sounds a lot like what The Toilet Paper believes about the value of public restrooms - that they should be awesome!

Last year's winner was the men's bathroom at the Hermitage Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee (pictured above). It's an art deco bathroom, with leaded glass tiling and - a shoe shine station? Yes, because it was a men's room only.

Here is a pretty clever article about a guy who checked out the hotel bathroom and various other "Nash Vegas" experiences. I don't quite have the full story on why the men's room is so cool that they have to post a sign outside that says it's okay for ladies to take a peek if no one's in there. And they regularly give tours to women who visit.

I remember Agent A saying something about the fact that, since it was last renovated in 1930, and the bathroom is right off the hotel's Oak Bar, I guess the bar at the time was a men's only spot. I think even the word "speakeasy" might have been said, which seems likely, given that the hotel itself was built in 1910. But it's not in any of the published articles that I found. Maybe they're trying to cover something up. But anyway...

The winner for 2009 was the Shoji Tabuchi theater in Branson, Missouri:

Pretty fancy, right? This one does include a Ladies' powder room. But the men get a hand-carved mahogany billiard table in case they, you know, want to shoot pool while they are waiting for an open urinal. Why do the men get to have all the fun in these bathrooms? But I guess I can't complain. It's better than this men's room.

For the ABR hall of fame, go here. And we can't wait to see which decorative loos are nominated for 2010!

Downsizing Stinks

2010-01-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

Today, a columnist at the Toronto Sun announced that the newspaper will soon be undergoing toilet downsizing. Due to building renovations by the owners, employees of the paper will no longer be able to roam six stories of building in order to find a good place to "go." The columnist quoted our friend and toilet science colleague Dr. Michael Sykes over at the ICBE about the etiquette of using the loo in close quarters with colleagues. Sykes says, “There’s work life and personal life, and by personal life I don’t mean what movies you’ve seen."

True enough. But I don't get a lump of fear in my throat when I think about going to the loo in close proximity to my colleagues. Well, I guess I do a little bit. It's always a bit harrying to see your boss coming in or out of the ladies (or men's) room. I once was walked in on by my boss on the first day of work, due to a faulty door lock. That was a trial by fire. And ice-breaker of sorts. But I don't get nervous about it because everyone has to do it. At some point in the day, you will, inevitably, have to find a place to relieve yourself, and so I balance discomfort at being around people you know with convenience and shortest distance traveled.

I'll take shortest distance traveled any day. Unless the bathroom itself is located in an uncomfortable spot, like, say a lobby. But I will say, having one bathroom for an entire company can certainly build a sense of community.

Anyway, if you want to read the full article, I highly recommend it.

A Day at the Outhouse

2010-01-19T16:37:00.000-08:00

And now for our next installment of outhouse romance, compliments of Awkward Family Photos.

We're not sure what the inspiration for this photo was. Maybe they thought it would be both quaint and suggestive to have the guy happily watching as his fiancée appears to be entering the outhouse. And does anyone else think it's creepy that he's standing with his face right by the window?

But in all seriousness, I owe my existence in part to an outhouse. I kid you not. My great-great grandfather came to America, and while he was staying with relatives in upstate New York, he fell in love with his next door neighbor, whom he saw walking every day to the outhouse in her back yard. I like to think it was less of a creepy thing and more of an unavoidable voyeuristic event because he lived on the second floor and everyone had outhouses in those days. But the bottom line is: I owe my life to a toilet.

Now if that's not awkward, I don't know what is.

But maybe these "romantic" photos are not so off-base after all?

A Romantic Engagement

2010-01-18T12:01:00.001-08:00

This one we found on Awkward Family Photos. It appears to be a couple who has just become engaged, and are celebrating this romantically by smooching between charming "his" and "hers" porta-loos. What a way to begin their life of intimacy in true love and total lack of personal privacy. Compliments of U.S. Waste.

But those are some pretty cool-looking porta-potties.

Thanks to Agent K.

This Toilet is Crap

2010-01-15T08:26:00.001-08:00

Virginia's Toilet / Virginia Gardiner / The Bathroom Reinvented / Dwell from gary nadeau on Vimeo.

Literally. It's a toilet made of poo. We think that's the ultimate in self-reference. But that's just the introduction. This student is out to create waterless toilets, to save the world from excess flushing and transform poo into something useful.

Who knows if it will ever catch on in the Western world, but we think she's onto something. If nothing else, we feel a kinship, because she, like us, realizes how useful toilets are. but you probably haven't heard this much about poo since you were three.

We discovered this video on the World Toilet Day Facebook page. Follow the link for more information.

Musical "Chairs"

2010-01-04T11:31:00.001-08:00

What you are looking at here is the iCarta iPod toilet paper holder. That's right, straight from the Macworld 2007 showroom floor to your sophisticated, musically-enhanced bathroom, this lovely item promises to "enhance your experience." Of what? Sitting on the toilet, we suppose? Brushing your teeth? Dancing around after a shower?

You'll notice that the two arms on the front fold in, so it doesn't technically *have* to be a toilet paper holder. That's more of an extra bonus. Like what else would you want your iPod dock to do, besides play music and charge your iPod? Darn things. Might as well make them do something useful, right?

This guy puts them all over his house, apparently, including at least two in the loo, it seems. The grammar here is a little off. I still want to know what s/he means by, "The high tech is a terrific pink for a house." But, as s/he points out, while the four integrated high-performance speakers are "moisture-free" that doesn't mean your iPod is, so he says he has to be careful when "taking a hot shower." Always recommended.

This one is from my dad - we'll call him Agent P (for Padre). And it's befitting of him, since he's always the one to know all things gadget. And this post is dedicated to Agent C in Mass., who recently suffered the loss of her iPod. RIP.

Midnight Visitors

2009-12-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

'Twas the night before Festivus, and all through the bathroom,
despite wearing my pants,
I looked on the floor to see dozens of ants.

This, sadly, dear readers, is my tale of Christmas woe. Where is the joy, you are saying? Where is the spirit? Well, let me tell you.

This all started yon about two weeks ago, when it rained, and when it rains in the Bay Area, or at least in the East Bay for sure, it means the ants need somewhere to go, and where they usually go is your house. Or it certainly is mine. It started off, as it normally does, with a few little ants roaming around in my bathroom. I thought, no chance are they going to set up camp here. What are they going to eat, my dead skin cells? Perhaps yes.

Because, for whatever reason, decided to move in. I woke up one night to find not a pile of gifts, but that the miniature six-legged elves had in fact decided to lodge themselves somewhere in my walls probably, and were traipsing their way blithely through my bathroom, to and from my closet. Don't ask me what was on their little anty minds. I have no idea. I just wanted them gone.

So I put down some ant traps that had worked for me before. Nothing.

At that point, I was just glad that they weren't in my kitchen, though I can't say I enjoyed stepping over them in order to take a shower. At least they weren't IN my shower. Two days later, they WERE in the kitchen. And they looked something like this:

Only, in fact, it was worse, because even once I got them off the counters, they kept coming back, and they were also swarming around two of the lower drawers. Again, don't ask me why. There was no food in the drawers. But I did have to move all my tupperware.

I was just about at my wit's end. It was a Sunday, and I was having guests over on Monday night for a Holiday party. If I didn't get rid of the ants, I was pretty sure I'd have to tell people not to come. But I was determined. I posted a desperate plea on FaceBook, and got a lot of responses, recommending many of the treatments mentioned in this article.

One thing that kept coming up was Borax. Well, I didn't really know where to get Borax. What I did was I went back to the hardware store and got some kind of liquid ant killer I'd seen before and decided to try it. The guy I talked to said it was "the best." Well, it didn't look like much to me. You cut out little squares of cardboard and drip the stuff on, then leave it around near the ant trails for the ants to find it. When they do, they eat it, and then take it with them back to the nest and feed it to their babies. Shortly thereafter, they all die. Theoretically, they kill the queen, too, and then you're set.

Trouble was, I had so many ants, I kept seeing these big ones that I was sure were queens or something, but probably they were just males. I don't know that much about ant biology. All I know was I kept killing them, and they were only getting worse.

But I had hope when I saw them taking the bait - literally. They were circling around the drops of liquid like cows at a water trough. A friend came over later, and brought Combat traps, and I put down a few of those for good measure.

As a bonus, when I checked the label on the stuff I bought (Terro), it said the active ingredient was Borax. So I bought Borax without even knowing. Sweet! And I think it was sweet, because even though they didn't list the other ingredients, I think it was probably either sugar water or corn syrup. I didn't taste it to find out, though.

Anyway, I went to bed with a massive ant trail in my bathroom, and a burgeoning collection of them in the kitchen, and woke up to - practically nothing! There were a few wandering about confusedly in the bathroom, and two or three by the kitchen garbage, and that was it. It was a Festivus Miracle!

I hopped about and clapped my hands, and danced with little Timmy, and said, hooray, we can have our Holiday Party after all! Well, maybe not quite. But I did have my party as planned, and all went very well.

Until the ants started to move back in today. Sigh. Well, at least this time I'm ready for them.

Sign Me Up!

2009-12-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

This week's post was submitted by Agent KGB in Boston. It's a post from Interbent that features "Humorous and Unclear Toilet Signs and Directions." Like the one above. The list reminds me of this one I saw in a bathroom in San Francisco early last spring.

There are also some Dada-ist looking signs, some highly suggestive, some alien-friendly, some, apparently, just for fun, and I really like the generic guy-on-toilet-seat-with-laptop - in a red circle with a slash mark through it, of course. And don't forget the Extreme Pizza bathroom for the "Extreme costumer only." So I'm guessing they only allow people who make or wear costumes in there...

Google my Arse!

2009-11-23T15:49:00.000-08:00

Intrepid Agent HoJo detected this gem of toilet papetry on the Huffington Post recently. It was listed under "Technology." We're not sure if that's because it bears the name "Google," or because toilets and related accoutrements are clearly tech-related. We're going with the latter.

Originally posted on a Vietnamese blog, this label choice is a marketing strategy I have not encountered before, and if I have, certainly not in such an egregious form. I'm guessing that the developers for this product sat around a board room table and decided that by slapping the name of a highly successful technology-oriented company on their TP, they could generate a boatload of sales. Or perhaps some other kind of load? I couldn't resist...

I am also guessing that Google and their lawyers will be after this company soon, if they are not already.

But my favorite part about this piece are the translations of the Vietnamese text, which you can read on the original post from Huffington, and also the "100% Virgin Pulp." I think that would definitely appeal to the Catholic masses.

(Photo via Huffington Post)

World Toilet Day

2009-11-19T16:07:00.000-08:00

Today is - are you ready? - World Toilet Day! I'm not making this up. It was founded by the World Toilet Organization, which I am also not making up. But this is serious business. (So to speak.)

The text from the WTO page reads:
"World Toilet Day is a global day of action to increase awareness for toilet users' rights and to advocate a better toilet environment. This day is marked by individuals, toilet associations, and other advocacy groups across the world to bring attention to a cause that truly affects everyone on earth."

And if you go to the World Toilet Day Website, they'll give you two reasons we should have it.

#1: Because 2.5 billion people worldwide are without access to proper sanitation, which risks their health, strips their dignity, and kills 1.8 million people, mostly children, a year.

#2: Because even the world's wealthiest people still have
toilet problems - from unhygienic public toilets to sewage disposal
that destroys our waterways.

Get it? #1 and #2? These people are awesome. They even advocate more toilet stalls for women.

Now this is one cause we can really "get behind."

(Image - A WTD Press Conference in Ghana, courtesy of WTO)

Thanks to Agent RC for alerting us!

In One Door and Out the Other

2009-11-16T17:42:00.000-08:00

I just spent a week in Massachusetts with my family, and catching up with old friends, and experiencing Ye Olde New England Bathrooms. One interesting feature of one of these bathrooms was the one belonging to my good friends Agents D and K. They are in possession of a large bathroom with a claw-foot tub and the convenient (or not) feature of two doors, one on either side of the room. Here's the view from the kitchen door:

And here's the view from the living room:

So, basically, if you want to use the loo, you have to first go in one door, walk across the room and lock the other door, then walk back and lock the first door. Well, I guess it depends which door you walk in first, but you get the idea. Unless you want to live dangerously, in which case the only door you probably really need to close is the one leading to the kitchen, since the other door opens onto a little vestibule with no other access, and not the living room itself.

We discussed possible reasonings for this set-up. They pointed out that the house used to be all one house and was divided into four apartments. So most likely, this room was not originally a bathroom (it may also have been built built before there was a lot of indoor plumbing.) There are, however, very old-looking locks, of the round, turny kind that I used to have in the room I lived in in Maine. It's like a round, brass knob that sticks out, and you turn it one way to get the bolt to go out, and the other way to draw it back in. It's usually situated somewhere above the knob.

Their guess was that the room may at one point have been a walk-in closet. But then, why the locks on both doors that could only be manipulated from the inside? So you could lock yourself in the closet? Hm... It's possible it was always a bathroom of some sort. Or a small bedroom. Or maybe the locks were added later. Maybe it was a bathroom, and the people who designed it were just too lazy to walk around to get in from the other side. Your guess is as good as mine.

One thing I do know is that I am not particularly fond of the bathrooms with two doors. It's enough to monitor one door to make sure it's locked and no one walks in. But then when there are two, then it really doubles the chances of this occurring, and that's not really a great thing, in my opinion. Or you just have to have to think a lot, because it would be so easy to just wash my hands and walk out the one door, completely forgetting about the other.

I've seen several two-door bathrooms on the West Coast, so this set-up is not limited to New England. And in fact, in those cases, the bathroom was accessible only by walking through someone's bedroom, which was kind of odd. I'm sure it's handy if that's your bedroom, but I like a little separation of personal space when I'm visiting someone's house usually.

Anyway, since Agent K has such a spectacular bathroom, you should really think about buying her new book, Life in Violet. It's a novel, set in New England, about a girl named Violet. I've so far only read the first line, but that was enough to tell me it was good! So you should go buy it, and then read it while you ponder the value of two-door bathrooms.

The Maine Attraction

2009-10-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

In honor of the fact that a good friend of mine has recently moved to Portland, Maine, and a new friend, Agent Brian, has just relocated from Portland to San Francisco, we have this post from Agent Steve, our other Maine man. Here he is, in his own words:

While showing off parts of Maine to some people “from away,” I decided to treat them to the Maine Lobster Festival in Rockland. Besides showing them a little bit of Down East, it was a good stop to stretch our legs, admire Robert Indiana’s EAT sculpture atop the Farnsworth, watch people scarf down lobster and most importantly, find a public bathroom.

We didn’t have far to look. Before the fun rides, before the carney games and before the enormous tent of crustacean gobblers, in fact just twenty feet beyond the oddly unoccupied entrance booth were a slew of port-a-potties, including the first handicapped-accessible I’ve ever seen (I don’t get out much). Happily, it was only the second day of the festival for the warning sign within seemed dire. Sign notwithstanding, I’m pleased to report the facilities were clean and included functioning hand sanitizer dispensers. In retrospect, the placement was perfect: not next to the eating tent and quite close to the rides that spin you around.

That is a serious looking warning!

And we agree with Steve. "Handicapped accessible" portapotties are far superior to "regular" portapotties. Every portapotty should have that much space to move around in. And we, too, are big fans of the hand-washing stations we've seen at some porta-pottied events recently. Thanks, Steve! We'll be thinking of you and that tasty Maine lobster. Mmm...

All photos: Agent Steve

MacGyver Freestyle Portapotty 200

2009-10-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

This image comes to us from Agent Dave, via There, I Fixed It. It is unclear to us whether this homemade Throne was actually used, or just assembled and photographed to get up on the website. But still, it's a nice image. And maybe could give you all some ideas for when you're roughing it and/or your plumbing system craps out.

Hamster Potty

2009-10-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

This is Pork Chop, my hamster, who never ceases to charm me with her curious antics.

A few weeks ago I went to Petco and purchased myself a Hamster Potty. Yes, you heard me. A hamster potty. How could I resist? It was only $8, and the picture of the hamster on the box was just so darn cute. Plus, I figured, hey, why not, if it saves me some bedding material (note: I use recycled fiber bedding. Very green. Well, actually, it's brown, but the package is green...). Anyway.

On the side of the box, it says training your hamster to use the potty is as "E-Z as 1-2-3." According to this article, it's more like "1-2-3-4-5-6." But I'm not sure Pork Chop got either memo.

Anyway, I set the thing up and then waited so that I could see which corner of the cage she likes to "go" in. Wouldn't you know it, she decided she likes to use the corner that's underneath her little climbing tube, where it would be impossible to fit the litter box doohicky thing. So when I changed the bedding, I just decided to put some of the soiled material into the litter box, like they said, put it in a nearby corner, and see if it worked.

Well, first she was curious. What's this new thing in my cage? Then she tried to eat the litter. It didn't take her long to find out she could crawl in, being that it is precisely hamster-sized, and then she proceeded to dig.

She ignored the soiled bedding and decided it was merely a fun place for her to explore. Pretty soon it looked like this:

I came home later in the day to find her just hanging out in the "potty" like it was her new front porch. Ah, Pork Chop. The designers obviously did not take into account your creative hamster mind. So much for "E-Z" hamster potty-training. But if nothing else, at least my little Pork Chop has a fun new place to hang out...

Coffee Time

2009-09-30T17:42:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Agent B and I, along with friends Lisa & Robb (aka Agent Double-L) did a fundraising ride for the Bay Area Outreach and Recreation Program (or BORP). Essentially, we rode along with hand-cyclists and adaptive cyclists of all kinds for a 25-mile tour of the Sonoma wine country. It was a beautiful ride, but an incredibly hot day, with temperatures topping out at around 100 degrees, Fahrenheit. Luckily, due to a glitch in some hotel booking, we ended up staying at the oh-so-posh Fountaingrove Inn in Santa Rosa, where they do these neat little foldy things with the towels.

They also have something I've noticed in other hotels in the area, which is this bowed-out shower curtain rod. I'm not really sure what the purpose is. I suppose that if you are a more rotund sort of person, this could afford a little more comfort in the shower, but I can't say I saw a lot of very large people about the premises. (They also had a gym and a pool/spa.) I did wonder if the curtain rod had something to do with that annoying thing where you turn on the water and the force of it pulls the inner curtain, which is lighter, into the area where you are standing, which now has less air pressure due to the force of the water, which means that you have to fight the thing off while trying to shampoo your hair. That didn't happen to us, so if that was the purpose, it worked. But the crowning glory of the bathroom was definitely the coffee maker!

That's right. Normally, I would not think to involve my breakfast beverage with the toiletry unit, but there was something very charming about the whole set-up. There was actually sort of a divider between the toilet/shower area and the sink/mini-kitchen, which made it seem a bit more sanitary. I have to say, it was a little odd to brew my coffee in the loo. Nevertheless, I got a little bit of a kick out of it. Hey, at least the sink was near by. And I assure you there was no Austin Powers 2 type business going on.

So anyway, the ride was great, despite the heat. And of course, the wine at Trentadue Winery was delicious.

Celestial Bodies

2009-09-17T21:27:00.000-07:00

This next installation of "toilets in space" comes to us indirectly via Agent Double-L-Awesome (and her facebook page)...

While the rest of us were mourning national tragedy, something else happened on September 11th, last Friday, when Space.com announced that an unusual glowing trail in the night sky was, in fact, a large amount of water from human liquid waste being ejected into space from the shuttle Discovery.

The amount of water ejected, according to the report, was approximately 150 lbs (or 68 kilos). The reason it was so much was that they were not able to eject any water during the 10-day visit to the International Space Station, due to external experiments taking place on the station's structure. (Also, if the ISO's main toilet was still broken, then there were probably more people using it).

When the waste water is released, it immediately freezes into tiny bits of ice, and then the heat from the sun causes it to sublimate and vaporize. Meanwhile, the light catches it and makes it look all pretty.

Space enthusiasts who watched the shuttle guessed as to what the strange trail formation was. One (Abe Megahed, who took the photo that you see), got it right when he wondered if it might have been a "massive, record-breaking urine dump?" Indeed, it was.

Cheap Chic Wedding TP

2009-09-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it is the end of the summer wedding season, heading into the fall wedding season, with a nod to all those out there who have just become engaged. Of course, in this economy, everyone is looking to save a little cash. And if you are getting married, probably all the more so. What cheaper way to get a wedding dress than by making one out of toilet paper? Every year, since about 2005, Cheap Chic Weddings has held a toilet paper wedding dress contest. The winner takes home $1,000 for their efforts, although, from the looks of it, I'm sure a larger sum than that should be in order to adequately compensate their efforts.

Here is the winning dress from this year's contest:

Pretty impressive! (Photo credit: Cheap-chic-weddings.com)

To see the runners up and get a look at the winners from previous years, go to the contest page.

Roughing it

2009-09-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

California has some of the cushiest campsites I've ever been to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Especially since there was no natural water near by. It's just that I don't remember anything more than a portapotty at the campsites we used to go to when I was a kid - that's if we were lucky. (Oh, and by the way, yes, I did walk to school in 8 feet of snow. Uphill, both ways.) But seriously. I was quite impressed with the facilities at the Juniper campground on Mt. Diablo, where I camped with some friends recently. In this lovely structure you see above, there are a fair number of flush toilets, with sinks and mirrors and, yes, toilet paper, in the units. There were the two outdoor sinks, one of which had warm running water. And - AND! - There were showers.

They weren't showers like you would have in your home, so much, but they weren't bad. They were the Navy type showers, or like the kind I encountered in a hostel in France last year. You hit the button once, and you get about two minutes of continuous water before it shuts off automatically. So that way, you can douse yourself, soap up, then rinse off, without wasting too much water. (Hint: if you keep hitting the button, the water keeps running :). Only major downside is, there was no way to adjust the water temperature. So it was great when I came down from a hot hike to the summit of Mt. Diablo in 95-degree weather, and the water was just a little bit cold. But not so great, I guess, if you were hoping to get a warm shower in the morning.

Now, the only problem with this brilliant watering facility was that it was a fair hike from the campground where we were stationed. There was a faucet for cold water, to use for cooking, etc. And, at the top of the loop, there were two "long-drop" style outhouses. A long-drop is basically a permanent porta-potty. It looks something like this:

I might have mentioned there were two. In fact one of them was "out of order" due to state budget restrictions. I suppose it's good that that one was out of order and not, say, the shower house. I manged somehow to not use the long-drop, and toughed it out with long walks, but in case you're wondering, the entrance looked like this:

And inside it looked like this:

At least the scenery looked like this:

Green in the USA

2009-08-30T15:32:00.000-07:00

So while we're on the subject of San Francisco museums, let's take a trip across the street to the new California Academy of Sciences building. My friend, Agent JeM (because of her initials) took a trip there recently and discovered that their green practices are not limited to the living roof. But while their website mentions their use of hand dryers in place of paper towels and avoiding anti-bacterial soap (They didn't say, but I'm assuming they have some other kind of soap in its place), they don't say anything about dual-flush toilets.

But that is exactly what Agent JeM found. Upon entering the bathroom stall, she was intrigued by this flush handle she saw, which is, quite literally, green. While most of the world (including Europe, Asia, and Israel) uses dual flush toilets - that is, a toilet that gives you the option to use a larger or smaller amount of water, thereby saving water when there's not much to flush - these toilets are not so common in the United States. Though I have seen them, this is the first one I've seen that incorporates the mechanism into a standard industrial-style flush toilet.

What I love most about it is the instructions posted on the wall. The drawing is pretty self-explanatory, but in case you have trouble reading it, it says, above the diagram: "UP for #1 (liquid waste)" and below the picture: "DOWN for #2 (solid waste)." Everybody got it? Now, to save the planet!

Kind of Blue

2009-08-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

Last week, I stopped by the DeYoung Museum in Golden Gate Park to check out the Tutankhamen exhibit. The King Tut exhibit is located on the ground floor (i.e. the basement), down a long stretch of shallow stairs. Before getting in line, I decided to use the ladies' room around the corner. Now, the DeYoung museum is a pretty spare building. The exterior is a boxy shape, made of indented copper. The interior, being an art gallery, consists primarily of flat white walls and large, undecorated windows. The women's bathroom on the ground level, by contrast, is this shocking blue-green turquoise, offset by pink and yellow flower arrangements.

In this shot above, you can see how many stalls there are, which is both brilliant and reassuring. There is nothing worse than going into a public restroom in a well-trafficked place and finding only two stalls to accommodate all five thousand of the women who need to use them at the same time. In this case, there was almost no one there. So I took these shots. Then I took this one of my water bottle, since it was nearly the same color as the tiling:

Unfortunately, in my excitement to see the artifacts from King Tut, I managed to leave my water bottle right there on the counter where I left it. So far, it's not been returned to the museum's lost and found.

So if you see anyone carrying this water bottle around San Francisco, will you kindly ask them to give it to you so you can return it to me? Thanks.

Nice "Plumbing"

2009-08-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

Nuns and small children, avert your eyes! The rest of you can "check out" this interesting bathroom sink

installation in a men's room of undisclosed location. This image was sent to us by Agent Dave, and is interesting to say the least.

It's a clever idea, if not slightly disturbing. What I'd like to know is, what did they put in the women's room? There may not be a ladies' room if this is, as many surmise, a bathroom in a gay men's club. But even so, I'd have to say that while some gay (or other) men might appreciate this arrangement, not to mention some women, I'm not sure the same would go for a similar sculpture using female anatomy, even for Lesbians. Though it might. I don't know.

For some other odd and possibly disturbing urinal, toilet and sink presentations, go here. I'm a fan of the flower urinals myself, but this page is basically x-rated. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Home Economics

2009-08-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I had occasion to consider the odd layouts of some San Francisco apartments. After a fun night of bhangra dancing, I crashed at a friend's place in the Sunset, where they have one of those odd arrangements involving a very small room with only a toilet and a light switch, while the sink and bathtub are in another room altogether. In her case, the two were separated by a small air shaft, with windows on each side. I've also seen it where the rooms are across the hall, etc. Don't ask me why they do this. I guess it means someone can still pee if another person is taking a long time in the shower. But then I wonder why it isn't more popular.

But the real inspiration for this post is the apartment of none other than Agent B! This apartment is a four-bedroom arrangement with a long hallway, and two bathrooms off said hallway. Since there are, typically, two men and two women living in the house at any given time, they have divided the bathrooms by gender, and designated them with signs.

Whenever I go for a visit, it's always a question: use "his" bathroom, or use the "girls'" bathroom? I generally opt for the ladies' room. Not that both bathrooms aren't clean, as you can see.

But notice that the toilet seat is up - way up - in the boys' room, and down - way, way, super down - in the girls' room. Now if this arrangement doesn't solve one major point of contention for all members of the household, I don't know what does.

Dream Bathroom

2009-08-17T16:21:00.000-07:00

Have any of you ever had a dream about toilets or bathrooms? I have. I have occasionally experienced them just before I wake up, only to find I have to pee like the dickens. Easy interpretation! In fact, I was told long ago this is why we dream of having to use the bathroom. But I was also told that it's not possible to do so in your dream, unless you are doing it in reality (very unpleasant), and this is not the case.

Just last night, in fact, I experienced a dream in which I successfully used a toilet and thankfully did not wake up in a puddle of warmth. I did have to head to the loo post-haste, however.

For some additional interpretations on what a dream about being in or using a bathroom can mean, there is an article about it here. I especially like the Freudian interpretations! But what it all comes down to is interpretation, period, since only you can know exactly what it means for you. And hey, maybe all it means is that your bladder is full and it's time to get out of bed - NOW!

Interactive Toilet Training

2009-08-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

While Agent Dave and I were exploring Sausalito, we came across an Art Gallery that manages the estate of Dr. Seuss. While I drooled over the cast-resin wall mounting of the Semi-Normal Green-Lidded Fawn and a tiny bronze statue of the Lorax, one of the Gallery agents calmly informed us that we couldn't take pictures due to copyright restrictions. But if your child likes Dr. Seuss, they might also like this Interactive Toilet:

I'm not sure that it looks *exactly* Seussical. Maybe a print of the Lorax and some tufts of hair on the back would improve the look. But it's still a nifty idea for an $18 project by a student for an Architectural Robotics class.

According to the YouTube video, they are not planning to market it. And it might even seem a little bit scary. But, judging by this website, some kids can use all the encouragement they can get to use the Potty. Maybe a little hi-five is not so bad.

It might also help the kids when they go to Japan, as they will be ready for the use of washlets and hands-free dryers.

Sausalito

2009-08-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Agent Dave and I made an excursion to Sausalito, CA, where we stopped at this restaurant for a lovely outdoor meal. Afterwards, I asked for the Ladies' room, expecting the usual in-the-back-of-the-restaurant deal. Not so much. The host guy told me to go "Up the stairs, and to the right." Well, these were the stairs:

And at the top of the stairs, was this fountain:

Evidently, the restaurant was connected with a hotel above. And the bathroom was very nice. As you can see:

I especially love the ceramic tile detailing and the different sized mirrors under an arch. The lighting made it pretty nice as well. A nice place to refresh after a long day of bike-riding!

TP on film

2009-08-03T22:04:00.000-07:00

The TP Blog had a moment of stardom last week in San Francisco. Walking up to the Embarcadero with Agent AshW, we noticed a scene of what appeared to be quite a lot of destruction. I was thinking: it's not even a weekend, why is there a street fair?

As we walked along, we noticed carts full of folding chairs on the other side of the police tape, and a film crew with big lights and fans alongside approximately 50 ambulances and a helicopter with no blades.

A crowd was gathering, and a sign in complicated legalese stated that all onlookers were allowing themselves to be filmed on camera as "extras." This was also announced several times by various people with megaphones. Nobody moved. I wondered how many people in the crowd were camera-shy at dinner parties, but perfectly willing to go on film if it meant being seen on national TV.

Turns out this was the filming of a new TV series for NBC about Paramedics, called "Trauma." I guess their pilot episode involved a staged tanker explosion on the Bay Bridge. Exciting!

This, we were told, was season one, episode two.

So Ash and I stood in the crowd as they gave us ad-hoc acting advice ("Remember, you're watching something serious. Don't laugh and smile."), and told the fake actor police officers to keep the crowd in line ("Don't lean on the police tape, that's a prop - stop smiling!").

I remember there was a fairly tall guy in front of us with greasy curls of hair protruding from his baseball cap. When he turned his head, I noticed he had unusually long nostrils. I couldn't figure out exactly what it was about him that seemed so shifty. But at one point, I looked down, and realized that he was holding a slightly squashed, individually shrink-wrapped roll of toilet paper behind his back.

Most of the time, he kept the TP under his blue windbreaker, but occasionally it would peek out, and I would wonder, what exactly is he carrying that around for? Possibly he went on an emergency TP run, and happened to stop to watch all the action. Heaven knows you wouldn't want be caught on camera, watching a medical emergency, with a roll of emergency toilet paper in your hand! But for some reason, despite his height, he seemed determined to stand at the front of the crowd, and therefore was compelled to hold the offending roll awkwardly behind his back, rather than just stand behind everyone else, where he could have put the toilet paper anywhere he very well pleased. Sigh. Oh well. People are strange.

When AW and I saw the toilet paper, we exchanged glances. Then she took a few photos of the set before the "police officers" and crew told us to stop snapping pictures.

Ah, a day in the life of a movie star extra! Welcome to our national television debut. And now, when you see the second episode of Trauma, season one, you'll know what that guy in the blue jacket is holding awkwardly behind his back...Sorry. You got busted!

{Photo: Agent AshW}

Toilets in Space!

2009-07-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

Astronauts have to put up with a lot. Weird space suits. Freeze dried ice cream. Extreme temperatures. Not only that, when you're on the space station and your toilet craps out, you're pretty much sh*t out of luck.

That's what happened on the International Space Station (ISS) recently. And if you're superstitious, you might even think, that's what they get for putting 13 astronauts on one space station. Mission Control even told them to hang an "Out of Order" sign on the door. I bet the astronauts are pissed. But hey, I guess this is just a reminder that astronauts are people, too.

And since they are people, and they probably digest food and liquids, this means they need to evacuate every once in a while. And thanks to Prince Phillip's inquisitive mind, we have this lovely article to tell us how it's done.

Thing is, when you're on the space station, and the toilet is broken, you can't exactly just head out to the nearest McDonald's. But they do have the Shuttle Endeavor's facilities, which almost certainly are more cramped and uncomfortable than the ISS one looks to be:

And if they all crap out, then they reportedly have "Apollo-era" urine collection bags on hand. No mention of what to do with No. 2. But that sounds great. I'm sure they're real happy about that. There is also another back-up toilet on the Russian side, and that will be nice if the Americans get to use it, since, earlier this year, a Russian apparently got upset at not being able to use the US toilet due to "billing and cost issues." Sigh. Even when you get into space, you can't get away from it all.

Photos: NASA/BBC

{Thanks to Agent B for submitting the story from Slashdot!}

Nappy Time!

2009-07-27T17:42:00.001-07:00

The author of this Wired Mag blog post is right: cloth diapering has come a long way since the early days. Just look at that photo! That rainbow of scrunchy, fuzzy-lined nappies just about makes me want to go out and have a baby just so he or she can sport some of these stylish duds. Or these, even more stylish.

Of course, I remember when my brother was born, back in the 80's, because I was six years old at the time. And my mom, being the green, crunchy mommy that she was, subscribed to a cloth diapering laundry service. I think it was called "Didey-Dee" or something like that. Anyway, we had the special covered plastic stinky bin for all the used diapies, and every week, the truck would come by to pick up the soiled naps and deliver stacks of cleaned, folded diapers.

I am even sure that I changed some of these diapers, helpful six-year-old that I was. My mom showed me the special way to fold them, and then pin them in the front (I think she did the pins). We had those big safety pins with the plastic, colored heads. Some of them even had bunnies and chicks on them. And then she'd put the big, plastic outer shield on. In all, it was a pretty bulky affair, but that's what we did.

I also remember the day my brother peed on the wall. But that's another story...

Handy Dandies

2009-07-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

This was so ridiculous, we just couldn't resist. Agent Dave (who didn't know he was scouting for us) unearthed these fashionable gems: Handerpants! The, um, underwear for your hands!

Featured on Archie McPhee, they also have their own website, detailing their many and varied useful attributes, including "distracts enemies." I'll say. Probably distracts anybody!

At first, this had me thinking, what dastardly deed are my hands going to be doing for which I would need handerpants? Then I realized, they are just so freakin' stylish, the way they're constructed with that blue-and-white wristband and the seams that look just like the seams on real men's underwear!

Dave suggests they should come in "boxers." I think they should expand to patterns, like plaid and Superman. But I also think a little Hello Kitty and some flowers and stars are in order. Everyone knows girls love to wear pretend girly-decorated boys' underwear. This will go over great with the high school crowd! And check out the brilliant video they made, as a tribute to Billy Mays. You'll be so convinced, you won't know how you ever lived without them!

At $11.95, we think the TP blog could totally rock these. And don't forget your Handerpants ringtones!

Restaurant Bathrooms

2009-07-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

Blog posts like this one in the San Francisco Chronicle are all about why the Toilet Paper blog got started in the first place. Okay, well, sort of. Maybe it got started because I was blogging about toilet paper in France. Hey, I'm not the only person who noticed that the French like pink toilet paper! (If you click the link and watch the video, skip to minute 1:40, and note that pink TP is at the top of his list)

But before there was French toilet paper, there were many, many experiences in restaurants, bars, etc., both foreign and domestic, and what this Chronicle writer says is true; whether or not the status of the bathroom is an actual indicator of the kitchen's cleanliness, it certainly does say something about the level of respect the restaurant owner has for his or her patrons.

On the other hand, if the wrap stand in a back alley in Germany has awesome doeners and the staff are friendly, I'm happy if they have a bathroom AT ALL. Then again, it being Germany, that bathroom was pretty clean, even if it was a closet. So that's a bad example. But you get the idea. Point made, I guess.

Pitt Stop

2009-07-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

The TP Blog is a big fan of when toilets make it into high-profile national media. So here we have Brad Pitt featured at the urinal in Wired Magazine's cover story on modern etiquette. The story - and image - were then picked up by NPR's Digital Culture section. I think this just goes to show how important the bathroom scene is to us, especially when it comes to rules of etiquette.

What I find perplexing in this photo is not Brad on his Blackberry, but that dude in the plaid suit next to him. What exactly is he doing? Futzing with the zipper? Shakin' off the tree? Who knows. But how embarrassing, for him. Maybe Brad was just checking his text messages so he wouldn't have to look and see what that guy was doing, since, obviously, someone was performing bad etiquette when they took the urinal next to the other guy. So much a no-no that it's the ICBE's logo.

{The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette}

There's a lot of other stuff in the Wired article, not just celebrities on toilets. For example it IS acceptable to text message someone while having a conversation. It is? I guess so. I've done it. But I always excuse myself when I do, because I know I'm not giving full attention to the other person so I feel it's slightly rude. Hey, maybe rude is the new black of polite society. I guess that makes me old fashioned.

But even though we now have photographic suggestive evidence that Brad does, indeed, relieve himself every once in a while, everyone knows female celebrities do not. For example, there was the famous Ashton Kutcher/Demi debate a while ago, wherein they had an online Twitter exchange about how to hang the toilet paper roll. About that same time, Ashton Tweeted once that his wife was about to go pee. Demi promptly corrected him and forced him to recant, subsequently stating that she neither pooped, farted, nor peed. Ever. And there you have it. Boys can pee. Girls, well, you'll never know. We gotta keep some of the mystery.

TP America!

2009-07-17T14:11:00.001-07:00

Our friend Michelle {Agent M} has sent us this patriotic post, just in time for the 4th of July - well, okay, July anyway. Same month!

Anyway, it's a very interesting history of toilet paper, compliments of CNN and Mental_Floss Magazine.

In short, it is the story of how what was once an embarrassing personal product that people were afraid to buy becoming not only a household staple, but a global indicator of cultural development. And a useful way for kids to decorate trees during Halloween. We've come a long way, baby?

Scary Paper

2009-07-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Speaking of Japan, here's a novel idea: print your toilet-based horror novel on a roll of toilet paper!

Japanese horror novelist Koji Suzuki is the author behind the story that eventually became the Hollywood blockbuster "The Ring." His latest novella, aptly titled "Drop" takes place in a public toilet whose bowl is possessed by an evil spirit.

Suzuki partnered with Hayashi Paper Corp. to have his story printed in blue (with spatters of red) on toilet paper rolls, instead of going the normal book-publisher route. {Just goes to show, I suppose, how much the publishing industry is truly in the toilet.}

What I love is that it solves so many problems at once. You get handy reading material for the bathroom. It's cheap (a roll will cost you just under $3, or £1.40), plus, you don't have to worry about what to do with the book, once you've read it.

And if you get scared reading about a possessed toilet bowl while you happened to be sitting on one, you can relax because you get to have the last laugh when you use it to wipe your bum. Only downside: may only be available in Japanese...for now!

{Photo courtesy of Telegraph UK/AP}

A Handy Helper

2009-07-06T10:28:00.000-07:00

Whatever your home or business office needs, this little guy has got you covered. Aptly named the "Butt Station," and looking like the cute, sleek designs I saw in shops all over Italy, he (or I guess she) dispenses tape like toilet paper and holds a pencil in his mouth. That's to prevent him from biting his tongue.

Always getting his business done, I'm sure he'll be useful in helping you with yours. Or, if nothing else, he'll provide an amusing distraction and/or conversation piece to get things rolling with that cute office mate down the hall you've been dying to talk to. That is, if s/he doesn't avoid you for the rest of your life after seeing this dude on your desk.

Geekily Eco Toilets

2009-07-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a toilet recently featured on EcoGeek. {Once again, a stellar submission from Agent Double-L.} The idea here is that, after using the loo, you wash your hands in this little basin that sits on the back of your toilet. The water helps refill the tank for the next time you go to flush.

This is not, as many people will be quick to point out, an exactly new idea. Toilets like these have been common in Japan for many years now, because of the way they save space. I've never been to Japan, but we had a very small bathroom in an old house I grew up in in New England, where the sink was basically in your lap. An arrangement like this might have been useful. (More on Japanese toilets later.)

This site sells attachments that you can affix to your own toilet, without having to replace the entire apparatus.

But I still say that, even though I like the idea of saving water and reusing and all that, I feel awkward about a) straddling the toilet seat to wash my hands, and b) washing my hands in the same place where I just relieved myself. Even though I know that, technically, the water is clean, still my inner sense of hygiene calls for some, if nominal, degree of separation.

There could be other ways to use grey water for toilet flushes, however, such as collecting rain water, or shower water. Rainwater might have worked well for my friends in Boston, although, I could understand if they weren't feeling particularly like they wanted to save water right now, after being saturated for the entire month of June. Let's hope they see some summer weather in July.

Moon Paper

2009-07-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

When I first saw the opening page of this book on my friend's facebook page, with the subcaption, "Your inner grammar nazi may faint after reading this," I thought it was just a hilarious example of bad writing that made its way past a publisher.

But oh, it was so much more...

As I traveled to the Amazon page to find out what sort of publisher would print such a collection of words (Xlibris - beware!), I found some very amusing information. Perhaps more hilarious than the actual text of the book itself were the user "reviews." Out of 67 reviews, 53 people gave it a 5-star rating. Five people gave it 4 stars, and only 7 gave it one star.

One of those one-star reviewers pointed out that the first page of the book made it to Digg due to its hilariously painful use of grammar (or lack thereof). Many 5-star reviewers claim it is god-like or messianic in it's eschewing of traditional grammar principles.

So I know what you're thinking: What does this have to do with toilet paper? Read on. As I read through the reviews, which were just as bad as the writing in the book, I found this gem from a "J. Salmeron":

Reading this book made me realize two things:
1. There is a God.
2. The Author is his prophet.

Since I know how those 2 statements may sound a little incredible, let me ellaborate.
While feeding the homeless, I found that among the things they were going to use as toilet paper was this book. Since the cover attracted me, I decided that I should just remove the excrement stains and read it. That was probably my best excrement-related decission to date.
The homeless gathered around me as I told them the tales of the moon people, and as I showed them the incredibly detailed and realistic cover picture. Even the grumpy and erratic one (that we all call "cracky") joined in.
That day the homeless and I started a new religion ("The Moon's People Temple"), and we're planning to go to Guyana and start a new promised land ("Moonstown").
We shall prevail!

Aww. It almost makes me choke up. It's so beautiful!

(Note that the cylindrical spaceship resembles a toilet paper tube...)

Image courtesy of Amazon.com

Prison Break

2009-06-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

Agent L-L-7 has come through for us again! This time, the toilet paper roll takes a different art form - the art of escape.

One crafty convict at the Howard County Jail in Missouri reportedly used a piece of folded cardboard from his toilet paper roll to jam the door lock of his cell door, then fled while the patrol guard went the other way.

Okay, so he was caught. Still, he should get extra points for creativity. And this guy really doesn't like prisons. He escaped from a previous jail in 1996 by climbing through a hole in the roof.

Once again, the toilet paper tube proves to be much more than meets the eye.

TP Roll Art

2009-06-26T16:17:00.001-07:00

Today we have a fantastic entry from Agent Double-L-7 in Oakland. Paper artist Jacquet Fritz Junior (he's French, and so is his website), creates these face sculptures out of leftover toilet paper rolls.

Ironically, I have to say some of them appear to be a bit constipated. But they are so beautiful! Look at them! Such great character. They remind me a little bit of the "helping hands" from Jim Henson's Labyrinth (that's right, the one with David Bowie and his pants).

If that's not clever recycling, I don't know what is!

Now you know what to do next time you run out of toilet paper. Don't just sit there, get busy!

Stand up for yourself!

2009-06-23T16:51:00.000-07:00

Speaking of leaving the seat up, who says it's guys who get to have all the stand-up fun anyway? Girls, maybe it's time for us to learn a new trick. I heard of a girl once who was so proficient, she could accurately aim and put out a campfire with her stream. Can't say I ever witnessed it, but I believe it can happen.

Trouble is, some women are more or less able to do this without assistance, depending on your individual anatomy. Shucks. If you'd like to give it a try, a little tutorial can be found here.

And then there are a variety of gadgets out there to aid in the venture if you are in some sort of situation where sitting down or squatting would be less desirable, say, in a really nasty portapotty, or camping, or both. They are all essentially the same thing - a little funnel designed to shoot the wee away from you and into the desired location, i.e. not on your pants or leg. The P-Mate describes itself as a little "shoe" with the toe cut off. And it does look rather like a shoe. Reportedly, it was invented by a Dutch woman. Go figure. That, and the "Whizzy" are disposable items you can carry with you.

Then there are the washable varieties, such as the Go-Girl (nice mini!), and the "Whiz Freedom." (StyleList has an entertaining video of the latter.) There is even an acronym for these: FUD (Feminine Urination Device). Bet that ruined your breakfast.

Speaking of breakfast, I can't really imagine putting one of those things in my dishwasher, whether along with my dishes or not. Even if it does get clean every time. I just don't think I could look at my food the same way.

There are also urinals designed for women.

Overall, I can't say that I have an actual desire to pee standing up. I've gotten this far without it, and I haven't found it to be too much of a problem. But that's not to say I couldn't try, just for kicks. And I do like Go-Girl's catch phrase; "Don't take life sitting down." Go girls.

Seats Up!

2009-06-21T20:37:00.000-07:00

In honor of all the dads out there, and brothers, cousins, granddads, potential dads, lovers, guys with girlfriends, husbands, etc., I just wanted to offer this humble tribute to leaving the toilet seat UP.

Yeah, I get that we're women and due to various anatomical differences, we have to actually use the toilet seat more often. Plus we get to have the babies and other related inconveniences. But ladies, really, is it THAT much of a problem to just put the toilet seat DOWN once in a while? Does it really ruin your day? Does it make you miss a meeting with your boss?

Maybe. But the point is, think about your man. How inconvenient it must be to have to walk into a bathroom all the time (in your own home, no less), and have to lift the toilet seat UP, when all you're thinking about is how much you have to pee. And then you have to put it DOWN again for that annoying girlfriend of yours who won't leave you alone about it, as if it were the biggest deal-breaker in your relationship. You know there are more important things in life.

Which is why you forget to put it down before you leave the bathroom, and get an earful later on. Annoying, right?

So I'm just saying, girls, next time you go in the bathroom, and you see that toilet seat up, and you feel all aggravated by it, stop and think for a second that what that really means is that there is a guy in the house who loves you enough to put the toilet seat up for you.

Guys, consider this my public service announcement for the day.

Now go get yourself this T-Shirt.

We love you, Dads!

Tissue to the Rescue

2009-06-17T15:13:00.000-07:00

One side of the new Trader Joe's tissue box:

Admit it, you do it, too.

Problem Solved

2009-06-15T15:53:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wish that you would turn on the TV, and suddenly someone would be handing you a magic wand to solve all your toilet paper hygeine problems? Well these people have got your back(side) covered. Comfortable wiping at your fingertips - or not, rather.

Clearly, it has been a problem for people the world over to have to put up with nasty old toilet paper for more than a century. Because before the advent of toilet paper, it was much easier, right? We had chamber pots we could empty right out the window! Outhouses! Magazines! One older woman I know told me that apparently the last year's phone book came in quite handy.

But the days of relying on manual dexterity are over! And also, I'm sorry to tell you, but your arms are too short. Which is why you need to add 18 inches to your reach. If you ask me, that just makes things more awkward. And I'm not sure that scrunching the paper into a device is going to make the whole process more sanitary. Especially when they note that "scrunching" and "folding" toilet paper are outdated, archaic practices.

Seth Stevenson over at Slate had some words to say about the product, and it's ad, as did Joshua McGuire of Examiner.com.

And the one issue they haven't solved for me: where do you put that handy tool when you're not using it? I'd like to know...

Thank you to Karen {Agent K} in Boston, for submitting!

Boston's Other Big Dig

2009-06-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

We all know that Boston is the city that likes to spend exhorbitant amounts of time and money making it look like it's doing something to improve the city. Excuse me, I meant, create beautiful and advanced urban design. And public toilets are no exception.

Reportedly, Boston Mayor Tom Menino was inspired by San Francisco's public toilets when he visited back in 1997. Twelve years ago. And he planned to install 10 public toilets in Boston. So far they have six. And there's been a bit of a snafu with the seventh.

Installation began on that one in March 2008, in Boston's North End (not the South End). It has yet to open.

First, it was installed a few inches above sidewalk level. No good for wheelchairs. And, oops, sewage lines not where they are supposed to be, according to the map. And now, let's dig it up and add another pump. You know, standard, run-of-the-mill New England craziness.

More entertaining commentary can be read on the Bostonist. But I guess $300,000 isn't a whole lot more than was paid for any of Boston's other public toilets. And none of it was paid for by the city itself, but by Wall Decaux, an advertising company that pays for the facilities in exchange for the right to sell advertisements. Good deal, no? And you thought it was just a public service.

I'm thinking maybe Boston should look into the company that installed these toilets in Japan.

But what I love is that Boston has a director of Street Furniture. And that that includes toilets. But I am still wondering, who is going to use these public facilities? I pass by them in San Francisco all the time. And if I have to pee, that's exactly what I do - I pass by them. Because I am not above buying a cup of coffee so that I can use the loo if it means I have a reasonable chance at privacy. That, and the kiosks tend to smell pretty nasty when they are open. I guess people do use them. I am just not one of those people.

Thanks to Agent J in DC, for the Boston info.

Toilet Training Kitty

2009-06-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning for a while to write about the issue of kitty toilet training. And we don't mean box training, here, we mean toilet. As in your toilet.

The idea is, you get your cat to jump up on your toilet seat, place its little paws on either side, squat, and do its business in your toilet bowl. Then you come along and flush the stuff down. All gone! Neat and clean, right? Well, maybe, but I have to say, personally, I get some territory issues over this. I mean, that's MY toilet.

I first encountered kitty toilet training a few years back while browsing the racks at the library. At first, I thought the book meant box training. Then I realized they really meant toilet. I thought, do people actually do this? Apparently so. A blog for toilet training your cat (and some cute, but unrelated videos) can be found here. And here is a little step-by-step, if you're interested.

Arguments for it include cleanliness (your cat not stepping in dirty litter and tracking it all over the house), ease of maintenance, and saving on materials and cost of kitty litter. I hear that. And yet the idea of my cat using the same toilet that I use crosses a line that I prefer not to cross. I mean, I really do love my cat, but this is a little too much anthropomorphism for me, thank you.

I might possibly be in favor of one of these gizmos. Not that I have $300 to spend on one. But I say Kitty can have her own little toilet, box, or whatever, and I'll have mine.

Funny, I don't think anyone recommends teaching a cat to use toilet paper.

That's probably because if you give a cat some toilet paper, what you are likely to end up with is something like this:

Photo courtesy of Consumerist.com

Remember the Toilets

2009-06-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Memorial Day, the TP Blog has this submission from Steve (a relative of ours), who served in Saudi Arabia and Iraq during the Gulf War.

"Toilets were an experience in Saudi Arabia and Iraq. At one encampment, we had a special duty assignment.

Every morning the "honey pots" were collected from under the several 4-holer outhouses, transported outside the camp, and--with diesel liberally splashed within--lit on fire. At the right edge you can see the hand of someone wielding the stir stick. No one wanted their face captured doing this task.

I was sure glad I was a sergeant so I only had to supervise the people who actually performed this noble task!"

- S.

(note: Interesting that they are called "Honeypots" - reminiscent of this previous Post)

Into the Wilderness, with Toilets

2009-05-31T16:06:00.000-07:00

What is there to say about camping? Well, there is the issue of toilets. A few days ago I went on a one-night camping trip that was an excursion into the "wilderness." And it was indeed wild. Except for the running faucet and sink at the cooking location, elaborate roof structures with picnic tables, and expertly cleared areas with trails. But at one point I did take a walk alone down a path in the morning, and could have sworn I heard some kind of growling coming from the bushes. Without making too much haste, I calmly turned around and walked back toward camp.

There is something about civilization, and I think one of those things is toilets. Or all manner of bathroom facilities. We liked being out there in the woods, with the cold and the pine needles, the dirt, and the fire that blew smoke in our hair and made us feel warm. But as much as we liked to be "roughing it," we liked our bathrooms, too. We liked the fact that the campsite came outfitted with full-on toilets in bathrooms with sinks - not even the bring-you-own-toilet-paper portapotties I've been used to, and was expecting. This was a whole new level of camping experience; somewhere between a real get-in-the-dirt excursion and a summer camp style set-up.

But, of course, the bathroom facilities were located far away from the tent set-up areas, on the other side of the parking lot, all the way up the hill. So, what to do when you wake up in the middle of the night, it's freezing cold, except for maybe one little corner of your sleeping bag, and your bladder is screaming to you?

You contemplate the long walk up the hill with your flashlight, whose batteries are dying. You think about the energy it will take to dress, and undress again, and how will you get back to sleep after that? Probably you should walk up the hill. And yet, it's pitch black. Who will see you? There is plenty of dirt and brush right here. Why don't you just...hmm.

Then you wake up in the morning and realize you weren't the only one. Because it turns out the dirt around here is pretty dry, but not too absorbent. And as you walk around the campsite, you notice little wet spots here and there among the trees.

Ah, nature...

I guess sometimes, in the wilderness, toilets are just too much trouble. But as much as I love it out in the woods, there's nothing like coming home to a good, hot shower.

Just Like Home

2009-05-25T14:04:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I attended an art opening at the Mina Dresden Gallery in the Mission. When I got there, I of course had to use the bathroom. What I found was a bathroom that seriously resembled someone's personal bathroom. My first thought was, well, at least I know if I need to take a shower after some art viewing, I can do that. Turns out the owner of the gallery and her family live in a loft upstairs, and this bathroom is, in fact, their personal bathroom.

That explained why the shower still seemed to be damp, and the colored towels were hung casually over the curtain rod. But I especially like the big mirror with the white-painted leafy-looking frame and the old-fashioned style scale tucked in behind the toilet.

Going into a bathroom is a good way to get your bearings about a place, and here I felt very comfortable. I felt like a guest in someone's house. That's because I was, technically speaking.

When I spoke to the owner, Ms. Dresden, she said she always felt a little odd allowing the public to use her bathroom, but what could she do? She would have to install a second bathroom for public use. Not a tiny project. She also considered not allowing anyone to use it, but I, for one, am thankful that she hasn't done that.

Sur la Plage

2009-05-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

I will always appreciate a good bathroom on the beach. This one is one of the series of public loos that line the beachfront of Alameda, facing the Bay of San Francisco. I honestly can't remember what we used to do without beach toilets as a kid. In Maine, you don't really pay to go to the beach. Someone owns the property, but makes it accessible to the public, and you just go. This means easy access to the beach. Not so easy access to facilities. Particularly when the beach is miles from a gas station. So I don't know. We probably peed in the water. Which was freezing.

In Massachusetts, you pay to park at the beach. That's how they get you. But on the bonus side, you might have certain amenities, such as bathrooms.

And while we're on the subject, can we talk about how annoying it is to try to use the baño when you've got a one-piece bathing suit on, under your clothes? This, again, is one area in which guys most definitely have it easier.

Bikinis: more practical than you think.

Steampunk Toilet

2009-05-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

You know you want it. Well, I do. It's the "Antique Toilet of the Future." Otherwise known as the Steampunk toilet.

Steampunk, in case you didn't know, is the quasi-futuristic-Victorian-era-throwback-maker-y movement among the artist type people who like to make things for the Hell of it, or really for the pleasure of it, or because it looks cool. All of these things. This blogger, for one, is very interested, and would like to get or make herself a steampunk laptop someday. Ah, a writer can dream.

But back to the toilet!

So, this one comes with a "control panel," lights, gauges of unexplained significance, a coffee cup holder, brass seat, and, of course, a laser.

Because who doesn't need a laser on their toilet?

I do.

Anyone for tennis?

On the Outside Looking In

2009-05-03T09:50:00.001-07:00

Speaking of glass-walled bathrooms, I had probably the most uncomfortable bathroom experience of my life last night. And I've been in some pretty uncomfortable bathrooms.

In case you did not know, it was this blogger's birthday recently, and a friend of mine took me out to dinner and dancing in San Francisco. We went to a fairly small club/lounge, called Shine, where it was also, apparently someone else's birthday.

The women's bathroom there was nice. Dim light, high ceiling, light walls and a dark velvet drape framing the wall-sized mirror. (The door, by the way, locked).

Contrast that with the men's bathroom. I stepped in at one point, because there was a big line for the women's room, due to fact that the birthday boy's party showed up all at once, and all females seemed to be in need of a restroom all at once.

The men's room was lit with a deep red glow, much like a darkroom. That was about the only decor. There was a toilet in the far corner, and opposite that, a very low mounted urinal. But coming from the wall just to my right, there was another source of light - a blurry window that looked out onto the back section of the club. It was blurry because it was, in fact, a one-way mirror.

And whereas earlier, there had been very few people present, suddenly, there was a crowd of people standing around outside the room, in full view of me, but not seemingly conscious of my looking at them. Add to that the fact that the door did not seem to want to close or lock, and suddenly I was feeling very exposed.

I am sure that some people really like the one-way mirror effect. One male reviewer on Zagat.com called it a "nice bonus." But I can't tell you how disconcerting it was for me. I knew that the people outside couldn't see me, and yet, I could see them, which was bad enough. And at one point, I saw a guy staring straight into the mirror, checking himself out, I guess. He seemed to be looking right at me. But then he moved his eyes up and away and turned back to his buddies, apparently clueless as to what was behind the glass.

Maybe I was supposed to find this exciting. I found it unnerving.

So let's recap.

Women's bathroom: soft lighting, light colors, plush curtains, big mirror, tasteful decor, and a door that locks.

Men's bathroom: porn star lighting, minimal decor, vague odor of piss, weird voyeristic window, and a door that doesn't lock, or even close.

Clearly, they were appealing to the different sensibilities of men and women, and I think they nailed them, pretty much right on the heads. Women like different things in a bathroom, one of those being privacy. Guys, it seems, like that hunted, "I can see you, but you can't see me" feeling. So each one gets what they want.

I'd say that's equality for the sexes.

Still, I think I'll wait for the Ladies' room.

To get to Heaven

2009-04-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

We all know where cleanliness gets us. Here is an unsolicited comment that was posted to me recently by someone named "Jeff":

“You need to get a hand held bathroom bidet sprayer and you will be in Heaven. For those of us who really like to be clean it is the best invention since the toilet. It is so much better than a stand alone bidet..."

And he goes on to enumerate the reasons that a hand-held sprayer is so much better than a bidet.

One thing I didn't know was that if I cleaned myself off with water every time I used the bathroom, I would be in Heaven. You learn something new every day. And maybe it's true. I never tried.

Well, almost never. While I do have limited experience with bidets, there was one in my apartment in Italy where I lived while studying abroad in college. I can't remember using it for much more than a receptacle to place a make-up bag when we were getting ready to go out to the bars (it was very clean). But I did kind of check it out once to see if the plumbing worked. That kind of thing. I can't say that the idea of having water come UP out of the toilet-looking apparatus, rather than down, was something I felt particularly good about.

Usually, when I think of water spraying out of a toilet, it's not a good thing. I remember a Dave Barry column, from I think around 2004, where he talked about how invisible toilet spray from a normal flush toilet has a radius of something like 3 feet. (Hide your toothbrushes.) That was also the piece in which he described lighting his toilet on fire. After reading that column, I now have a regular habit of closing the toilet lid while flushing. Even if it's nowhere near my toothbrush.

But getting back to bathroom sprayers, I don't know that a back-end sprayer would improve my quality of life. But maybe Jeff has a point. "Moistened towelettes" for bathroom use have become more popular in recent years. Perhaps the old toilet paper just isn't doing all we need it to do. Perhaps the public is crying out for a better solution. Maybe this is it.

And the best reason to get a hand-held bathroom sprayer? "You don’t have to get up and move from the toilet to the bidet which can be rather awkward at times to say the least."

Thanks, Jeff. You might just be our TP messiah.

In the Running

2009-04-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well, ladies and gents, since Marathon Monday took place in Boston this week (Monday, April 20th), let’s talk about porta-potties. In case you didn’t know, the Boston Marathon is the oldest annual Marathon in the U.S., first held on Patriots’ Day, April 19th, 1897. It begins in Hopkinton, a small, residential town outside of Boston, and runners make the 26.2-mile haul into the city from there.

Porta potties are a big deal on race day. Radio producer Ian Chillag ran the race last year and checked in with NPR's Bryant Park Project from Hopkinton before he set off on the long run, and what did they discuss? Porta Potties.

Chillag: “Urine is actually a really huge part of Marathoning.”
BPP: “It's twenty-six miles of urine.”

Their words, not mine.

The original Marathon runner, Pheidippides, what did he do? When he ran to Athens to announce the victory of the Greeks over Persia, did he stop to take a piss? We’ll never know.

Clearly, Mr. P did not have rest stops with tables of people handing him little paper cups or bottles of water. That would have been too easy. And you can forget glucose-infused gels that taste of chocolate (a very weird experience). No. He ran and ran, delivered his message, and then he died. So the story goes.

A statue of the original Marathon runner, at the Louvre, collapsing at the end of his race, message in hand. I don't know who those people are in the back. Obviously, they think Pheidippides is hot.

These days, people try to keep Marathon runners living after the fact. And it helps to take care of bodily functions along the way. Of course, Marathon runners have been known to expel all kinds of things while running the race. Sometimes there is just no time to stop. And when you’re pushing you body that hard, well, maybe you lose some level of control. But by that point, it probably doesn’t even matter.

A friend of mine ran the Boston Marathon in 2005, and she described to me the corral feeling of waiting at the starting line - they actually call them "corrals" - being packed in one place with thousands of other people, and needing desperately to use a rest room at exactly the same time as everyone else. And that's just at the beginning.

I ran the San Francisco Marathon last August. My time was nowhere near the winner of the women’s race in Boston this year, who came in at 2:32:16. But I did get somewhat close to my goal, and, bottom line, I finished the race - without having to stop once for the porta-potties. That was probably my biggest goal right there.

I did have to use one before the race. But a nice person let me skip the huge line, however, since it was approximately 2 minutes before my scheduled departure time (of 5:45 a.m., mind you). I made it to the starting gate just as they were calling my start group.

The Boston Globe reported that the 2007 Boston Marathon had 600 porta-potties on the course. I'm thinking: Only 600? That doesn't sound like enough. But that's a fair amount. And I hate to think what clean-up is like, but my guess is it not as bad as if there were no porta-potties. Thank goodness for waste management engineers.

Photo Credit, top: Ian Chillag, NPR

Drink up

2009-04-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Last year, Rus and Char helped me when I made a piece for the Exploratorium's 2nd Skin exhibit and fashion show. After the show, we took a walk around the Mind exhibit, where Rus took a drink from this toilet bowl fountain. Titled "a sip of conflict," the display asks us to question our visual judgment. The toilet bowl is totally clean, and yet...it's a toilet bowl. Not where you are accustomed to taking a drink. Unless of course, you are a cat.

Thrill Ride

2009-04-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

So here is a little gem from Geekologie, submitted by Benn. Leave it to the Japanese to come up with...a bathroom stall designed to look like a ski jump.

Obviously. Because what do you and I always think about when using the toilet? Ski Jumping! Of course. Naturally.

Text from Geekologie:
"This is a bathroom stall in some Japanese ski resort that actually serves as an advertisement for a Coca-Cola coffee product (ad on toilet paper holder and back wall). As you can see, it was designed to look like a realistic ski-jump (or dump), complete with skis painted on the ground and everything. You just sit down, close your eyes, and imagine you're atop the mountain, ready to launch yourself off a cliff. Then open them and realize you've thrown yourself off the seat and shit on your leg."

I'd say this ad campaign is reminiscent of the Charmin Public Toilets, although I am not sure that I want to associate a brown beverage with a bathroom experience. I guess adrenaline rush is what they were going for. That, and a captive audience.

In Full View

2009-04-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

What do you do if you're on the first day at your new job, and your new boss walks in on you in the company's one bathroom? Well, if you're lucky like me, you smile, with your pants up, and say, "Hello!" While she makes a hasty retreat. And no one ever mentions the incident again.

Ditto for another job I had recently, where, again on the first day, I managed to walk in on someone else. That was reassuring. Luckily, my eyes saw nothing.

Bathrooms are, traditionally, a place of privacy. At least in my life. It's a good place to retreat for a good cry, to fix your hair, or just some time alone, even for a minute. Then there are the more obvious reasons. The ideal bathroom door has a lock on it, and if not, you really seriously hope that no one will walk in on you.

Then there are those who operate with more of an "open door" policy. I think, cross-generationally, or among family, maybe not such a great idea. But this seems to me acceptable in the right kind of romantic relationship. For example, the Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman interchange in Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut. (For other movie scenes involving toilets and bathrooms, go here.)

(Image from Dr. Strangelove)

Now it seems hotels - and some homeowners - are responding to the trend of open-door-bathroom-going. While also perhaps looking for new and innovative designs, many up-and-coming, trendy and expensive hotels are now installing see-through bathrooms. Forget the door. The walls are made of glass.

Makes you think, eh? Personally, I like the new designs, but I am not entirely certain I want to see people I love - no matter how much I love them - peeing in full view, with no option of closing a door. Or maybe I'm just not open-minded enough. I need to be paid more money to become that open-minded.

Technology in the Toilet

2009-04-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

And we're back!

Now, let us approach the subject of the old cell-phone-in-the-toilet issue. My own mother, for one, has dropped no less than two cell phones in various toilets (possibly more, for all I know.). She subsequently went on to use said cell phones after the fact. She has an unusual relationship with technology.

This past weekend, I overheard some girls talking about cell phones at the bus stop. One of them said, "They should make cell phones waterproof for people who drop them in the toilet."

And if you didn't think this was a matter of national concern, NPR itself reported on it just this past December.

If you've ever dropped your cell phone in the drink, here's a little instruction on how to provide emergency CPR (Cell Phone Resuscitation).

image: Corbis

Public Service

2009-03-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

So, for the third year running, Charmin's Interactive Marketing Department (I made that up) installed special public restrooms in Times Square during the 2008 Holiday Season. If we'd only known, we would have gone to New York City for the Holidays! There's always next year.

Meanwhile, in today's news, Charmin has now sponsored SitOrSquat, a clean bathroom locator, for those with kids, traveling, or who have simply had too much tea to drink and are out and about. Which is why they have made apps for BlackBerry and iPhone. They thought of everything!

The site is still in Beta but you can check it out here.

It's is all part of what's known as "Public Service Marketing." Marketplace had the story this morning.

But if anyone in the NYC area has had experience with the Times Square public toilets, do share!

Royal Throne

2009-03-25T11:58:00.001-07:00

This, apparently, is a picture of the toilet system at the gatehouse of Basing House in the village of Old Basing, UK, where, reportedly, Queen Elizabeth I once placed her royal arse. Well, perhaps not in this spot exactly, but somewhere in the near vicinity.

To read more about Tina's visit to the house, go here.

I remember hearing about gong farmers, actually. When I was living in Ireland, a few years back, my family came for a visit and we went to an old Medieval castle somewhere - I know, they're everywhere. But I distinctly remember on the tour the part where the tour guide introduced us to the "Garderobe."

Now, this means exactly what it says in French, which is that it is basically a clothes closet. You could still see where they had the place to put poles for hanging clothes. But there was also a place for a wooden bench, with a chute in the stonework leading outside. That's because the garderobe also doubled as a loo.

The waste went down the chute, and it all collected in a big central cess pool, where the "gong farmer" would then stir the pot, so that all the lovely vapors would waft back up into the clothes closets in various places around the palace. The idea was that the ammonia in the vapors would keep the clothes "clean and fresh."

Mind you, these were also the days when bathing was considered bad hygiene because it might "take off your skin." Goodness. I like my nose. Am I ever glad I did not live in the Middle Ages.

The Great American Rest Stop

2009-03-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

So, my friends who traveled across country this past summer (the country of the United States, that is), had some good things to say about rest stops.

Here is a picture of the "Fat Kiwi," their trusty traveling companion.

State 'rest stops' can take a variety of forms, it seems. They're very useful as emergency campsites for the night. Our favourite so far is one in Montana. It looks like a park, with restrooms. But any restrooms which are heated at 6am on a cold morning win, in our opinion.

Ditto for the heated rest stops. Especially in the middle of winter.

Ah, how we miss the rest stops on I-90 between Boston and Cleveland, OH. I know them well. With their mini-arcades just outside the door, and the sunglass hut, over there. I can picture their paper towel dispensers - or lack thereof - and their functional but useless hand dryers. Their long banks of sinks. Their black stall doors. And the smell of Burger King, just outside. We miss you, I-90 rest stops. We miss you all.

Urina Lot of Trouble

2009-03-20T17:30:00.001-07:00

Guys, if there is one thing I don't know a lot about, it's urinals. And from what I hear, men and talking in bathrooms don't mix - that might also mean men talking about bathrooms, but to be honest, I've heard some good stuff on the DL.

For example, urinal height. It never really occurred to me until someone mentioned it, but seems to me this can be a major contributing factor to your overall self-relieving experience.

Which brings us to the topic of urinal mechanics. One acquaintance has informed me he did a photo journalism project in college on various types of urinals - 12 in all, I believe, from basically troughs, to - I don't know what. Unfortunately, the images are all on slides. Not digital.

And now there are green urinals! And we don't mean the color green. Our friend Vijay wrote this piece for the Christian Science Monitor on one company that is promoting the use of "waterless urinals."

Ah, how we miss the Mapparium. That place had great bathrooms!

Burning Down the House

2009-03-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

Someone has a problem with outhouses. Specifically, construction site outhouses. What is it? Do they have something against construction workers? Is it a disgruntled former construction worker who rages against the indignity of having had to use a porta-potty in his working days, but was fired, and therefore takes his revenge by burning down construction site outhouses in Russian Hill and other San Francisco neighborhoods, thereby preventing current construction employees from relieving themselves while on the job? Or is it that this person has something against public displays of waste management? It could be a whole new breed of psychosis.

Police could dub him all kinds of fun nicknames. As of January 10th of this year, he, she, it, or they, were reported to have burned down a total of 14 toilets in that general area. And, "In some cases, the arsonist has broken into locked toilets to burn them, police said," courtesy of the San Francisco Chronicle. As of February 10th, 19 porta-potties were reported to have been burned. The terror continues.

Clearly, this person will stop at nothing to prevent ugly blue boxes of sanitation from marring our beautiful city streets.

A Google map of the porta-potty arsonist's target locations can be found here.

"Burn, baby, burn!"

Snakes in a Lavatory

2009-03-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

I recently made an attempt to watch "Snakes on a Plane" and failed. Not because I have a problem with snakes, or planes, it's just that once the characters got on the plane, the plot disappeared.

Sorry if I am about to ruin the movie for anybody, but I am going to go into detail. If you'd rather skip ahead, go down three paragraphs. First, the notion of getting snakes to attack people on a plane reminded me less of a fearsome mobster trick than of one of the old James Bond tropes, like in Dr. No, where he gives the guy a tarantula to put in James Bond's room, but of course Bond doesn't get killed by the tarantula. He wakes up and smashes it like any other spider.

The point is, animals are lazy. Why use animals anyway? It's a lame trick. But it plays off our primal fears. The creators of the show probably thought, hey, snakes are scary, planes are scary. Let's combine the two. But just because you like chicken and ice cream doesn't mean you should eat them together.

Anyway, back to the lavatory. There could have been another air vent, but no. It all starts with the couple having sex, in someone's most private, most vulnerable moment. If it hadn't been so ridiculously orchestrated, I would say there could have been a Garden of Eden theme going on there. Maybe there was. Here are two people in the throes of ecstasy, and suddenly - snake! And then there is another man who just went in to take a piss, and then - snake! In fact, snake on his snake! Oh, that was clever. As if the poison would not be effective anywhere else. But I think this just shows how we really feel about sex as a culture. Is anyone surprised? Not me.

I will admit, I had a moment when I was on a plane recently, going home for the weekend. Personally, I think spiders are scarier than snakes, but I'm irrational about that. I am just thankful that they have lavatories on planes, thank you very much.

However, if you really want to know, it seems there is a small problem of snakes in toilets. Since they are about the size and shape of plumbing, they have been known to escape - as exotic pets - or to enter from the wild and make their way into people's home plumbing systems. Why they would want to, I don't know. To find their own personal lake, perhaps.

This website reports that in 1999, there were 200 attacks of snakes in toilet bowls, 50 of which resulted in fatalities. That was up from 135 attacks and 35 fatalities in 1998. To get more information, check the CDC National Center for Health Statistics.

But what I love, is that the person quoted in the article is named Harvey Schitz.

If that's not a case of Nomen et Omen, I don't know what is.

One Hot Seat

2009-03-13T16:55:00.000-07:00

Here is another good one from the annals of TIME. The Toto Neorest 550 (or 600, or whatever), combination "toilet" and bidet - or "washlet." I have to say I am a fan of the word "washlet." And I also like the way the company claims that this toilet is so advanced, it is beyond the word "toilet," but call it that, "if you must."

Oh, and by the way, it comes with a built-in air dryer. Now that's special.

Read the article here.

Modern Restaurant

2009-03-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

Apparently, the world needs Toilet. Or at least Taiwan does. This article from Time talks about a restaurant chain that is thriving - thriving - called "Modern Toilet." And what is the basic premise of the restaurant? Toilet-related décor - i.e. poop-shaped lights, toilet-seat chairs, and, of course, your food brought to you in a miniature toilet bowl. Of course. I mean, really, why didn't anyone think of this before? But my kudos to them. Playing with peoples' senses, pushing their boundaries, breaking the taboo of food in the bathroom not one way, but the other way - bringing the bathroom into the food. Brilliant. And apparently, people are eating it up. I'll tell you one restaurant I'll visit if I ever get to Thailand. Thanks to Michelle for sending along the article. I wonder what their bathrooms are like?...

Stand up, Sit down

2009-03-05T10:37:00.000-08:00

So yesterday, I went for a jobs information session, which was kind of a bust, but I figured, since I was there, I might as well make use of their facilities.

The organization that I was investigating apparently caters to a lot of immigrants. Not to mention the building was located in the Financial District, which is not that far from Chinatown, and the classroom I was in, where the meeting was held, had signs all over the room in Chinese, with translations. I thought nothing of it, except, "This really doesn't seem like the organization for me."

So I went into the ladies' room, which seemed normal enough - except for the sign posted above the toilet, asking patrons to please "not stand on the toilets." And they included graphics to clearly show what they meant, in case you were wondering.

As Westerners, we are pretty freaked out by the idea of squatting over a hole in the ground. I went into one not-very-well-kept bathroom in France to find such a device, and promptly exited the facility. But what if that's what you're used to? I guess it could get pretty confusing. I guess it could seem like that's what the toilet "seat" is for. I'm sure it's all just a big misunderstanding. Or else it's just another creative way to avoid the germs on toilet seats. But they must have had a problem with it, or else they would not have posted the sign. Anyway, that was first for me. Just thought I'd share.

Update

2009-03-03T18:38:00.000-08:00

This just in! Apparently Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were recently involved in a Twitter debate about the "right" way to hang toilet paper. This sparked a big debate across the Twitter world about same, as well as many comments on the banal lives of celebrities.

Demi clearly comes down on the top-rolling stance, saying: "There is a "right way" to install toilet paper. Rolling off the bottom is NOT it." This is quoted very often, and not just by me.

My guess is, she would have her vote on the Great American Toilet Paper debate. I did not make this up. But you can get your own voting kit for 5 bucks! Support the cause of toilet paper!

~~~

P.S. I got a weird, voyeuristic feeling, combined with the sense of getting too much information and at the same time getting none at all by scrolling through Mrs. Kutcher's posts. She used an old photo of herself from some rather young age with big 70's glasses. I guess to be anonymous. Ashton Kutcher was surprisingly not clueless and actually somewhat interesting to read. Who would have known?

Lord in Heaven

2009-03-03T12:25:00.001-08:00

We always used to say, when there was thunder, it was the angels moving their furniture around. I think when it pours buckets, it sounds like God is pissing on your house.

Over or Under

2009-02-26T09:08:00.000-08:00

So, I guess I am an "over" person. I didn't realize this to full effect until this year, though, when I was living with a person who habitually loaded the roll of toilet paper so that it fed out from the bottom. I can't tell you how much it irked my sensibilities. Okay, not that much. But it still prompted me to unload and then re-load the paper in the "over" position every time. I just felt better.

And I think about this when I go into public restrooms, too. There is nothing worse than having a full roll of toilet paper, fully visible through some plastic container, but having to dig around inside to find the end of it, shredding little bits of it in the process. No, actually, what's worse than that is getting in, and realizing only too late that there is no toilet paper. We've all had that experience. But in some ways its worse to have toilet paper you can't access.

And so with my toilet paper at home. I don't want to have to wonder where the end of my toilet paper is. If I can't see it, it's a problem. Plus, as I was explaining to someone recently, to me it just makes sense to have it coming out the top. The use of gravity makes the whole thing easier to deal with. Not that it matters, but really, the amount of time I save in the long run will probably add up to hours by the end of my life. That's hours that I didn't spend fishing for the end of my toilet paper. Time well saved, in my book.

So anyway, you probably have your own personal habits and customs when it comes to toilet paper.

I like the way this guy wrote about it here, and he also goes on to tell the history of toilet paper. Interesting stuff!

Fuzzy Touch

2009-02-24T16:56:00.000-08:00

"The UltraTouch Comfort Touch surface is similar to what you find on today's soft handle toothbrushes, writing pens, etc."

Hm, sounds like a no-slip grip for your backside, to me.

AND they offer an anti-microbial agent, quick-release hinges, electrical heating, available in "white," "biscuit" and "almond."

Apparently, the heated seat "makes a great gift." Really, who wouldn't want to give (or receive) a heated toilet seat from their loved one on a very special day?

Lots of fun www.heatedtoiletseat.com.

(Bonus: Check out their logo of "the Thinker"...)

The Kindness of Strangers...

2009-02-23T13:12:00.000-08:00

Here's one from Surjeet...

"I am now at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton for a couple of weeks and this place is more or less in the middle of nowhere. And when I arrived at my apartment, which has all sorts of comforts like a nice study, a kitchen, a very nice bedroom and a fireplace, I found that it lacked toilet paper. Not a single roll. Apparently the nearest place where I can purchase the goods is like 2-3 miles away and without a car, thats a bit of a chore. So I actually had to walk around my neighborhood a bit to see if there were some folk who could lend me a roll - thankfully, the first person I ran into was more than willing to lend me a couple of rolls after having a thorough laugh at my expense. The question though is, if you saw a sketchy indian grad student wandering around your neighborhood looking for toilet paper, wouldnt you call Immigration or the FBI or atleast the cops? I know I would. Strange place, Princeton."

Surjeet celebrating his gift of toilet paper.

Wayward Portaloos

2009-02-23T13:04:00.000-08:00

So here is a good one from my friends, the Wayward Wellingtonians.

On a trip across country, they found a popular brand of portapotty with the intriguing name of...

Cow Paper

2009-02-23T12:56:00.000-08:00

I had no idea I could really make this toilet paper theme continue, but on it went.

When I was in Germany, my German Aunt (she's not really my aunt, but sort of), had read one of my posts about toilet paper. She thought it was funny, and was also a little bit confused. I showed her the sample of my purple toilet paper that I brought with me. Then one day, as we arrived at my German grandfather's house (again, not really my grandfather), she pointed to these hay bails covered in white plastic. "Look. It's like toilet paper for the cows," She said.

To see the original post, with comments, go here.